Annoying things about other kids parties 

One of the bains of my existence is kids parties. Having two children myself I have been to my fair share, in fact I’m at one right now so I thought what would be better fitting that to rant about them?! 


The amount of money I spend on other kids birthday presents would cover the cost of Christmas, it’s ridiculous!! I never remember until last minute so it’s always big rush to find the right present, I refuse to spend a lot of money now so I’ll go for toys on offer or lots of bits from pound land. As the kids are getting older it’s getting harder to find things they would like for under a tenner as I will not spend a penny more.

Stupid times

Another thing that’s quite annoying is the times of these parties, they’re always smack bang in the middle of the day which means you can’t do anything else that day. 


This is by far the worst part of kids parties, the parents. I learnt first time round when my daughter started school not to get involved with other mums at school. It causes nothing but drama and fall outs and I can’t stand it. I have my few friends which I’m quite happy with and I don’t need any more. Now my daughter is at the age (9) that I don’t have to stay at the parties I can just drop her off it’s not so bad. But my son started full time school this year so the big fancy little kiddies parties have begun all over again. 

The mums in my sons class have started bickering and falling out and the school year isn’t even over yet, I’m staying well out of it. Every time one of these nutters tries talking to me they end up slagging off the mum sitting 2 foot away from me. Inside I’m dying I don’t want to be guilty through association so I try and get away as quick as possible. 

They’re all in their clicks and I happily sit on the outside as far away as I possibly can. But it’s not fun, it’s boring and lonely but I’d far prefer to feel like this than having fake awkward conversation with people I can’t stand. Don’t get me wrong I’m polite I just don’t wanna be involved! 


I’ve never gotten sucked into this but some parents see these parties as a huge competition of who can have the biggest best and most expensive party. After years of doing my own kids parties I know who charges what and can tell which parties cost stupid money. Which playhouse party is the most expensive and who they hired a bouncy castle from can really bump up the cost of a party. And don’t they love to tell you how much it all cost!! Which is not classy in the slightest. It also doesn’t help that after going to one of these over the top parties your kid then wants the same, “sorry little Jonny mummy can’t spend £500 on a party for 10 children, maybe next year?!”
I would LOVE to hear in the comments below what you hate about other kids parties?!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Baby at the window-I have never been so scared in my entire life (not click bait)

Yesterday started like any normal day, school runs, work, doing the food shop… 

In the afternoon I got in my car and was about to leave my house when I heard one of my neighbors pull into the street, toot her horn and squeal to a stop. She jumped out of the car and started hammering on my next door neighbours from door like there was no tomorrow. 

My next door neighbour, we shall call her sally, is the same age as me and has two young children. She’s the sweetest woman who wouldn’t say boo to a fly, I couldn’t ask for a better neighbour she’s lovely. The neighbour that was knocking on her door, let’s call her Judy, is fierce to say the least, she’s can be very nice but you wouldn’t want to get in an argument with her if you can’t hold your own. We had a moment once and although I was shaking inside I stood my ground to prove I don’t take any shit. Sounds like kids in a playground I know but sometimes it has to be done! 

Any way, as Judy was banging on Sally’s door I thought what on earth has kicked off between them for her to be banging like that? I sat in the car thinking if it was going to be an argument I’d hang around to defend lovely sally if need be as I know she finds Judy very intimidating. 

After two more minutes of banging sally still hasn’t opened the door, being the nosy cow I am I let the car roll down our drive to get a better view of the drama, that is when I saw what was going on…

Lucy’s second story upstairs window was wide open and her one Year Old baby was standing on the window ledge hanging out the window. 

Here is a crudely drawn picture I did on my phone to give u a visual.

I started screaming “fuck omg shit fuck SALLY SALLY SALLY THE BABY!!!!” I leave the car running in the middle of the road, I open the door to get out and literally fall out the car trying to move as fast as I can, everything was in slow motion my whole body was shaking from head to toe it was petrifying. 

Judy was still banging on the door, I’m standing underneath the second story window where the baby was standing incase I had to catch her. I’m scrambling with my phone to ring sally the whole time SCREAMING at the top of my lungs “SALLY SALLY SALLLLYYYY THE BABIES ABOUT TO FALL OUT THE WINDOW SALLY” 

Me and Judy were frantic and still shaking more than I thought humanly possible I honestly have never been more scared in my entire life it was horrendous. 

After what felt like an eternity sally ran into the babies bedroom and grabbed the baby from the window. I start shouting up “omg sally are you ok come down so I can see your ok, sally?” I can hear her crying and guessed she was frozen with shock as even I was so shaken up my legs buckled beneath me and I thought I was going to be sick. Judy looked like she was going to faint too, I’ve never seen anyone shake as much as we were. Even writing about it now has started it up again. 

What if she would of slipped and I wouldn’t of caught her? Thank god judy noticed and raised the alarm, if I would of left I might not of noticed at all, the whole thing was a mess. 

I didn’t get to see sally until that evening, my poor friend was still crying, she was so upset and mortified about the whole thing she felt terrible. What had happened was the baby (who never had before) managed to climb out of her cot, climb over the changing mat onto the window sill!! 

Needless to say the babies room is being moved around and the window locked shut!

The outcome could of been devastating, it’s so hard not dwelling on that.

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Why I love my boyfriends wrinkles

I know quite a few people worry their spouse will become less attracted to them as they get older. They’ll worry they weren’t as thin as they were, that they’re getting wrinkles, loosing their hair or their boobs are nearly touching their knees. 

To me my other half is as gorgeous the day I met him. His hair is receding, he has crows feet, he’s in the sun way too much and his back is hairier. But all I see is the young man I met 11 years ago. 

With every new line on his weathered face, to ever individual hair he losses, the way I see it is… we’ve been together that long that we are aging. We are literally growing older together, and I love watching him get older. I love watching his face change and how he’s maturing. 

I love his wrinkles ❤️ 

What’s more romantic than that?

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old


Skinny envy

I don’t want my blog to be me moaning about being fat all the time. But I write whatever I feel like on the day, although i cover an eclectic range of topics, sometimes a certain topic is on my mind more than others. And this week it’s fat. I would also like to say I am actually doing something about my weight so I feel I can moan, as I’m being proactive in changing.

As I’ve gotten older I’m really good at not getting ‘skinny envy’ when I was younger it was quite bad. If someone was too pretty or too body perfect I’d be funny with them and find reasons not to like them. This is hard to admit as I’m nothing like that today. What is ironic, is looking back I WAS one of those pretty, thin girls I just didn’t see it at the time.

I used to find others girls threatening in every way, i was so insecure it ruled my life. I thought all my friends were prettier than me and that I was always the ugly fat one. This was far from the truth but being a teenager does crazy things to your brain.

I don’t look at slim people now and pick holes in them, they’re just people. For all I know they could of been my size and worked their arse off to get that body. They might not of eaten sugar or carbs for 10 years, they might have an illness, what I’m getting at is you never know someone’s story. I don’t judge people for being fat so why would I judge someone for being slim?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because I think someone is beautiful, it doesn’t take away anyone else’s beauty, not all beautiful people are threatening. Beauty is also more than skin deep, and just because they’re attractive it doesn’t mean they’re a good person.

As I got older I realised that right now I’m not conventionally ‘good looking’ but I’m still beautiful inside which in turn makes me more attractive. I hope this is making sense!

There’s times I still feel super self conscious and I want to ground to swallow me up, when I can feel eyes staring at my belly or my arms. Or staring at how much room I’m taking up on a bench, but I’m learning to breath through it and keep myself together. 

I don’t look at every thin person and think ‘I hate her I wish I looked like that.’ Because I really don’t. I might look at someone and think ‘I love her dress/shorts/top I wish I could wear that, or I wish my bum/back/arms/tummy/legs looked like that’. But it’s not bitchy envy, it’s more me feeling a bit sad for myself. 

From time to time, I will see someone that reminds me of the old me. That is what really gets to me. It makes me think ‘what if.’

What if…after starting my anti psychotics and my weight started exploding I stopped taking them and tried another medication?

What if….I made more of an effort to counteract the weight gain before it got to this point?

What if….after gaining the weight THEN falling pregnant again I tried harder not to gain anymore?

What if….the second I had my baby I really tried to loose it all before it got comfy on my body?

What if…. I looked how that girl does right now? How different would my life be? How different would I feel? How many opportunities would I of taken? 

Life is full of what ifs, and I can not STAND thinking so negativity . I HATE feeling sorry for myself. I’m so much stronger than that but sometimes it’s like I fall into little puddles of it.

Those are my thoughts from today, I’d love to hear in the comments how you feel about this subject. 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Annoying things about being fat when it’s hot

After the fantastic feedback of my Annoying things about being fat post I thought I would continue the series but go a little deeper, so today we shall be talking about being fat in the heat. As this is a whole new ball game of problems. I find writing about these things really inspire me to keep going with my weigh loss, as well as entertain you lovely people.

Getting my arms out

It has only been a year or so that I have liberated my arms and set them free. Since my weight gain they have been firmly covered up. No matter how hot it got or how sweaty and uncomfortable I was I would NEVER EVER get my arms out. My big jiggly wings were not for the publics entertainment and I couldn’t stand looking at them. Even when I was smaller I felt this way I think it’s an issue a LOT of women can relate to. But now I’ve set them free it has made my life tonnes easier in the heat. I just say to myself they won’t look like this forever, I’m trying my hardest to work on my body and since starting swimming I have noticed a difference! 

Getting my legs out

Unless I am in the privacy of my own home my legs do not see sunlight. I live in dresses and leggings and if I’m that hot I think I’m going to pass out I might roll them up over my ankles. I love wearing little shorts at home feeling all cute and what not but I just could not get them out in public it would be far too humiliating! I’ve recently be brave enough to expose the leg beneath my knee (that makes me sound like an 80 year old woman lol) but I’ll be honest I felt naked all day and was worried my dress would blow up exposing my thunder thighs!! I’m still making myself do it though as I need to get over this fear as really the only person who cares is me.

Chaffing central

Ahhhh this is a biggie, the thigh chaffing situation is very unpleasant. If I know I’m going to be walking more than 10 steps I need something to protect my thighs from starting a fire. If I’m wearing a maxi dress which I would die from overheating if I had leggings on too (which I did wear for several years under maxi dresses!) I found myself some long black shorts, imagine leggings but cut off above the knee. They are the least sexy thing I own the look ridiculous, my other half always takes the piss, but they do the job beautifully and no one sees them but me!

A pool of sweat is following me around

Have you ever heard the phrase when it rains it pours?! I don’t think the saying was intended to mean sweat but were using it in that context today! Holy shit I’m getting sweaty, embarrassingly sweaty, and not just in the usual places. It’s seeping out of every pore in my body drenching me head to toe is seconds. I’ll walk up to school thinking wow I’m not as sweaty as I thought I would be,until I stop, then comes the rain sweat. My water bill is going to be huge this month  the amount of showers I’ve been having!

The dreaded sun cream

Sun cream is soooo important and after having a cancerous mole with cancerous cells around it (I’ll write about that soon too) I have to be really careful. But I fucking hate it!!’ No matter what cream I buy I feel greasy and slimy, it also mixes in with the sweat which is just disgusting. Not to mention it’s expensive!!! Between me and the kids we’re going through more suncream than…..well a lot of suncream. I have also just realised this point has nothing to do with being fat!! I went off on a tangent there but it’s still something I hate about the heat. 

I’d love to hear in the comments below what you hate about the heat, no matter what your size!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old



I made a discovery today!!! This is going to be bigger than finding out the world is round!!! I just had to share it with you all!!!

In Tesco I noticed they were selling Oreo peanut butter ice cream cookie sandwiches, my heart sank as I love Oreos, ice cream and peanut butter. To tease myself I picked up the packet, I then noticed the calories per ICECREAM… I worked it out in my head… 

6 SYNS!!!!!! 

Only 6 syns!!!!!!!

That was it, they went straight in my trolley as I went skipping to the tills. 

When I got home I opened the packet straight away, they’re not the biggest ice creams in the world but they taste gorgeous! Two big biscuity Oreos with cream peanut butter ICECREAM. 

Worth every single syn! It felt like a huge treat and what’s even better is that no one in my house likes peanut butter so they’re mine all mine!!! 


What low syn ice creams do you enjoy?! I’d love to hear in the comments below!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Austin Jones uses YouTube platform to take advantage of under age girls 

I don’t tend to write about stories going on in the news but this sickened me to the core. Austin Jones is a 24 year old Canadian you tube star, known for singing covers of popular songs he has half a million followers. 

It has recently come to light that he has been using his online presence to convince young girls to send him explicit photos and videos. Disgusting. 

He was manipulating these poor girls with phrases like “I thought you were my biggest fan” and telling the girls they needed to prove themselves to him by sending what ever he asked. Even asking them to talk about their age during the videos. 

Even typing this is making me super uncomfortable. 

It finally came to light what had been going on after he asked a young girl to send a video of her twirking in front of the camera, when she said she didn’t know how he actually SEND HER A VIDEO of himself twirking showing her how to do it. At the end of the video he smiles and says “your turn.” This was sick to watch knowing his intent behind it. 

She then went on to expose messages between them as she wasn’t comfortable with what he was asking her to do. The clever clever girl had taken screen shots. I think she’s amazing bringing this to light and not letting scum like him think he’s in control.

From what I have read he will be getting a maximum of 15 years in prison. Personally I think he deserves more. 

He took advantage of his social media fame, instead of using his exposure for good…. he used it to groom young girls.

More girls that were targeting are coming forward exposing him and sharing screen shots. I won’t be posting any on here as they make my stomach turn and are pretty graphic but there are hundreds of YouTube videos you can watch that include more evidence. 

One look at this guy you know he’s not going to do well in prison, and I couldn’t be happier about that.

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old