I made my dad cry this morning – happy Father’s Day!

My dad is a business man. He has his own incredibly successful business, he has contracts with HUGE companies and is a money genius. He is ruthless and does what needs to be done. He is my biggest inspiration. He has a lot of stress through this and can be as moody as hell, I really really sorry for my mum sometimes having to live with him! 

But under all of this, he is the BIGGEST softy and I really am daddy’s little princess. No matter how moody, ratty and difficult he can be I absolutely adore him. He’s a sweetheart he just hides it very well lol. 

For this Father’s Day I wanted to do something a bit different. I love the website Not on the high street it has thousands of unique personalised gifts for every occasion. I ordered a beautiful little box which said “10 reasons my dad is amazing.” It has 10 cards inside that you either write on yourself or pay the extra to have them typed up. As I’m skint I opted to write them myself. 

On these cards I wrote: 

  1. You are the funniest man alive, you put most comedians to shame with your wit.
  2. You make the BEST roast dinners.
  3. You make me laugh how much you love your dog.
  4. What you have done with your business is inspirational. 
  5. You (and mum) have given me the best childhood any one could ask for.
  6. You are the ultimate grandpa to my kiddies and they adore you.
  7. I appreciate every car loan, phone bill loan and holiday you have ever paid for me. 
  8. I appreciate all the hours you have spent walking around art galleries with me. 
  9. You give the best hugs.
  10. I could not of asked for a better dad, no matter how grumpy you are and how senile you become I will always love you. 

Now, this kind of gift with my dad can go two ways. He will either take the piss and think it’s weird as I’m a grown up, or he will take the piss but secretly love it.

When I arrived this morning he was hungover painting a garden table. After a quick chat I handed him his present, warning him it was a bit soppy and that he might laugh at me. As he started reading he looked bemused but as he read on he looked further down so I couldn’t see his face. 

When he looked up I wasn’t  expecting what I saw, his eyes were filled with tears and he couldn’t speak. He gave me a hug and went back to his painting not looking at anyone. I had to seriously hold back the tears myself so we did the British thing and carried on like nothing had happened. 

I was so happy that my words touched him to the point he was moved him to tears. It was a really special 10 seconds that I wouldn’t change for the world. 

I love my dad ❤️

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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A walk and a play in the park makes everything better

I was moody as hell today, I woke up in an awful mood and really thought it wouldn’t get better. In the afternoon we decided to walk to a big park near us to let the kids have a play. 

I was dreading it, it was hot, I knew it would be busy and I just wanted to be alone. But you know what? It was just what I needed. 

I felt great walking and getting some exercise in. Sitting in the sun felt amazing on my skin and lightened my mood. Watching my kiddies ride around on their bikes and having fun was the icing on the cake. We were there for two hours and it was the best two hours I’ve had in ages. 

Who needs an extra 150mg of quetiapine when you can go to the park? 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Ways to improve your sex life-tip number 3 (make the time)

Welcome to my sex tip series! Today’s topic is about making the time to have amazing sex. When my partner and I were young(er) we were at it like rabbits, day and night and everytime in between, but now we’re older and have responsibilities it does get harder to fit everything in. I think if we didn’t make the effort days and weeks could easily slip by. Well maybe not weeks in our case as we get ratty as hell after a few days but I’m speaking generally. 

It takes meticulous planning in our case to get down and dirty as often as we do, it doesn’t always go to plan but I’d say we have an 80% success rate. Here are some of the steps we take to have sex around our busy life’s, clearly our issues might not be the same as yours but it might give you some ideas for your life. 

1. Go to bed earlier

Early bedtimes is an essential there’s no ifs or buts about it. This is our magic key! As we’re getting older we’ve found we need more sleep anyway (I’m making us sound mega old lol) but we work hard and have two kids so you can’t blame us. If we’re in the mood for love we make sure we go to bed at least an hour earlier than normal, that gives us some chill time before we get down and dirty, while still getting a good nights sleep. What more could you want? As we do have children we make sure they’re in bed early too, even putting them to bed 20 mins early can make a big difference if ur a sleepy clock watcher like us. 

2. Take every opportunity (when your feeling it)

If you don’t have any children that can burst in at any moment this will be a lot easier for you, just because it’s not bed time doesn’t mean you can’t have sex. Not everyone likes doing it in the bright gleaming day light but close the curtains and give it a go! For example;

You have an hour till your pasta bake is cooked? Go have sex

You’ve woke up 20 mins early before you need to get up? Go have sex

Your favourite show doesn’t start for half hour? Go have sex

It’s as simply as that! For us, it goes more like this:

The kids are away for a night at their grand parents? Sex 100% guaranteed 

The kids have magically fallen asleep early?  Have sex

Basically if we’re alone in the house? Have sex

Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying we’re at it at every single chance but when the mood takes we definitely go for it! 
3. Moving your plans around

This is something you’ll need to do together,   if your both super busy people with diaries more full that the popes, you need to work together to find times during the week to have time together. Even if you don’t end up having sex, alone together time is so important in a relationship. It keeps you connected and can stop you drifting apart, it also shows your both committed and actually want time together. One of my favourite things is cuddling up in bed watching a movie eating biscuits, it’s nearly as good as sex. 
3. Caffeine is your friend

This might sound a bit weird but this tip is a life saver for me. If we’ve had a naughty day sexting and are both looking forward to bed time the last thing I want to do is fall asleep. As I have a busy hectic life and I do get very tiered it is a serious possibility. To combat those really tiered days I’ll have a strong coffee early evening when I start getting yawney and drowsy, it’s just enough to perk me up and get me all excited again! Not sure if this tip is good advice or not but either way it helps me!

This was quite a rambley post but hopefully it helped you in some way! Give my blog a follow to read the next instalment, here is Tip Number One (honesty) and Tip Number Two (don’t be selfish) if you’d like to catch up.

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Ways to improve your sex life-tip number 2 (Don’t be selfish) 

Welcome to my sex tip series! Today’s topic is going to be about being selfish in bed. I think quite a few people will be able to relate to this one and I thought it would be a good eye opening read regardless if your the selfish one or if your partner is. This post is also based more on personal experience from the past so there will be some over sharing, just to warn you. 
Being super honest and open (as this blog is anonymous I really can be!) before meeting the love of my life I had never orgasmed with a guy before. Solo yes, with anyone else, no. I have had quite an adventurous sexual past to say the least, name it I’ve tried it, but I’d never been with anyone who’s goal during sex was to please me. Every other guy was just in it for them selves, and now I realise long term that seriously wouldn’t of worked for me. I just thought that what sex was, and looking back that is fucking sad and I could not be happier with my pervy dirty love making machine that I have ended up with. 
I remember the first time he made me orgasm was when he went down on me, I’m not joking when I say I had to hold in the tears I was so bloody happy as well as relieved that I actually could with someone else. Afterwards I sat up to give him his turn, he simply looked at me and said ‘I didn’t do it to get anything in return, I just wanted to do something for you.’ That night I laid awake puzzled, my mind was racing because I was so confused, why did he do it if he didn’t he want anything back? That’s when it dawned on me, this is how it should be. The amount of blow jobs I had given guys with nothing in return, why is that ok?! Think about it! 
The boyfriend I had before I met the man I settled with, was a selfish piece of shit, he really was, in the two and a half years together he never ONCE even TRIED to do something nice sexually for me. He was a ‘pump pump pump done’ kinda guy. It left me so frustrated as I was horny as hell and it wouldn’t even cross his mind how he would of felt if it was the other way round. Maybe I should of tried talking to him more about it but I couldn’t find the words and didn’t want to hurt his feelings (I cover this in my first sex tips instalment click here to read more) so I was wholly unsatisfied for some time and my vibrator became my soul mate. That’s not why I ended things with him but I know that if I would of stayed it would of become even more of an issue and I wouldn’t of ever been truly happy. 
Sex should be both parties coming away happy (no pun intended…) wether your a couple in love or fuck buddies, what is the point if your not both satisfied? If your that poor sole who is with a selfish lover and you tell yourself ‘it’s ok because I love making them happy’ just think, how would they feel if it was always about you and never about them? And if your the selfish lover in this scenario, if you love someone and want to keep them in your life you need to start thinking about them too. If you are embarrassed that you don’t know how to please your partner, be honest and tell them. I’m pretty sure that most people would find it incredibly thoughtful that you want to try and that you’ve realised it’s not all about you. Another great tip is, if you find it easier to orgasm than your partner, sort them out first so by the end your both happy and content! 
I hope this has helped you! Follow my blog for the next sex tip instalment!
The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old