Inspirational people on YouTube – Nikki Glamour 


As a YouTube fanatic there are tonnes of people I am subscribed to, one of these people being Nikki Glamour. She has a story time channel and has recently started a Q&A series. She also does the occasional makeup tutorial and challenge video. 

I do enjoy story time channels but I wouldn’t say there’s any creators I would look up to or concider a good role model to younger viewers. They can be highly entertaining but not necessarily people I would want my daughter idolising if you get my drift.

Nikki on the other hand I think is amazing. That girl has a moral compass she could patent and sell. Even when she was a younger teenager she stuck to the ‘girl code’, knew what was wrong and right and knew how to conduct herself. 

She’s had crazy ‘out of charactor’ times like everyone else and some of her stories are pretty out there so don’t expect a saint but she promotes self respect and love and demands respect from the opposite sex. This is something I really admire, I think Nikki got her shit together from a young age which is rare! I wish I could say the same. 

She comes across as passionate, funny, loyal, honest, feisty and someone who knows their own mind. She knows what she thinks and feels and doesn’t doubt herself for a second. That kind of confidence is admirable and a quality young viewers will hopefully learn from and take away from her stories. 

If you haven’t checked out her channel I would highly recommend it. She is also hilarious so if you want a giggle, she’s your girl.

Who do you love on YouTube I’d love to hear below!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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The boys I stalked and embarrassed myself in front of as a teen 


This post is exactly why I wanted an annomus blog. I would die if anyone I knew now heard about these stories but I feel compelled to share them with the internet. None of these stories paint me in a good light so please bare in mind we were all a little crazy as teenagers and I wouldn’t behave like this as a grown woman. If this is your first time on my blog, welcome! Bit of a weird post to start on but hey ho most of my posts are rather odd. 

I recently wrote a post about a strange boy who I went to college with (He got kicked out of college to spend time with me?! Wtf?! (Stalker)) after a little chat in my comments section it reminded me that I had done some stalking in my day too. As well as acting like an utter twat. So as the flawed human being that I am, I decided it was it was only fair to share my embarrassing boy obsessions from my teenage years. 

Story number one – I threw up

The first story that came to mind was a boy we shall call Jon. When we were 13 a big group of us would meet up at the cinema every Friday. Over the weeks everyone started pairing up, I had my eyes set on Jon. I thought he was beautiful and I had decided I was going to marry him and have his babies and live happily ever after. He hadn’t spoken to me much but that was fine, I was patient. Until one day, he asked to sit next to me, my whole body started shaking I thought I was going to die I was so excited and nervous. Halfway through the film He held my hand and where I was so over come with hormones and shock I threw up all over him!!! I ran out of the cinema crying and I have never been so mortified in all my life!!! 

Story number two – peeping tom 

This next story also make my friend and I look crazy, I think I was about 12/13 and my best friend lived opposite a beautiful teenage boy. We both had a huge crush on him so decided we would both marry him and take turns having his babies. He had a huge bedroom window on the side of his house and if we stood on a certain place on the path we could see in. (So fucking creepy.) Every morning I’d walk to her house and we’d walk to school together. But first we would (I’m crying with embarrassment typing this) stare up at his bedroom window watching him get ready for school. I realise this probably is some for of sexual harassment, but I want to say we never saw him get undressed or anything like that we just watched him walk around his room getting ready. One morning he noticed us watching, and slowly backed out of his room. The next day we went back to our watching spot and he had blinds up!!! That poor boy must of been so freaked out and I couldn’t blame him!!! 

Story number three – he shall be mine, a tale of determination 

Before I settled down with the love of my life, if there was a boy I liked I had to have him. I would get my target in sight and make that shit happen! I was really confident with boys, I knew what I wanted and would go to great lengths to get what I wanted.

 I would of been 15/16 when I was walking him rather tipsy from a party one night, I could see a boy heading towards me on his bike. As he got closer I realised he was looking down so I shouted “watch out” and he swerved falling off his bike. When he looked up at me and our eyes met, I could hear angels singing and that crazy undiagnosed bipolar voice in my head said “that’s your next boyfriend!! Congratulations!” He quickly apologised and told me his name was … let’s call him Jimmy Smith. I told him my name, we had a quick chat and off he went.

Back in those days there wasn’t social media to find people on, you had to do it the good old fashioned way, by asking around and stalking!! I knew roughly where he lived as he told me he was nearly home, so I asked around my friends who lived up that way to see if anyone knew him. I was in luck, I found out he worked in a super market in the town at the weekends. So clearly my next creepy step was to try and “surprise” him at work.

I remember the first weekend I tried to stalk him I didn’t see him. But the weekend after that I “bumped” into him, I remember saying “oh my god hi what are you doing here? What a small world!” Looking back it was very clear it wasn’t an accident as I was smiling like a bloody clown and had asked half the town who he was so he must of heard. We had a chat and when he was about to walk off he casually asked for my number. GOAAAAAAL!!!! After that we were together for 6 months before I broke up with him for ironically being clingy.

Have you done crazy things to boys/girls when you were a teen?! I’d love to hear your antics in the comments below! Seriously, tell me your so I’ll feel less embarrassed. 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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He got kicked out of college to spend time with me?! Wtf?! (stalker)


I had forgotten this story as it happened about 12 years ago now (that makes me feel old) but something reminded me of it today so I thought I’d share it with you all. 

When I started college I met a boy, let’s call him….Gary. Gary was a fairly short guy with long greasy hair, baggy jeans and a skateboard. So exactly the same as most of the other boys in my life, at the time.

When we met I told him what A levels I was studying and it turned he was doing a few the same so we had a lot in common but weren’t in any of each other’s classes. I was really into art and photography and so was he, so we bonded over this. We also smoked the same menthal cigarettes so spent most of our free time in the smoking area. 

Everyone had different schedules, which meant most of us were on our own for a our free periods. The first few weeks of term I adapted to this quite well, using it as time to do my homework. Occasionally I’d see Gary on the same free period, and he would come and sit with me basically watching me work. I didn’t mind, I’d noticed I’d never seen him with any other friends so I kinda felt sad for him. 

Over the next few weeks this went from seeing him occasionally, to him being with me every free period I had. He told me he’d moved classes and it was just coincidence. I had a feeling he might of had a crush on me but I had a boyfriend at the time who I had been with for a while and was a lot older than me so I ignored Gary’s crush thinking he’d get over it eventually as I in no shape or form fancied him, which I made clear. I was stupidly head over heels for my older man and everyone he knew me, knew that.

I lived quite far away from my college, it was a 25 minute walk to the station, a long train ride home and then a good 45 minute walk to my house. As my friends and boyfriend were in my home town if I wasn’t at college I was in my home town. Gary lived right by the college and knew no one who lived over my way. He started ringing me Saturday mornings saying he had just gotten off the train, was in my town and did I want to hang out, I found this really weird as he would come on his own and have no reason to come here apart from to see me. 

As my boyfriend worked long hours our weekends were spent together so I always said sorry no I’m busy. I once asked him at college what he was doing over my way every Saturday, thinking maybe he knew people I didn’t know about, but he said “just in case I get to see you.” 

Alarm bells 

I tried distancing myself a bit from Gary, as well as him turning up all the time he was constantly ringing and texting, even if I didn’t reply he’d keep trying until I’d eventually give in. My boyfriend was getting really annoyed with this guy and threatened to come up to college with me to “tell the little fucker to back off”. Although Gary was creeping me out I didn’t want to see him beaten up, which is inevitable what would of happened, so I let Gary know my boyfriend wasn’t happy and that he needed to cool it with the texts. 

After a few months of this I was getting more and more uncomfortable, and avoided him at all costs. Until one day he found me hiding, when I looked up at him he was crying. He told me he was being kicked out of college, for not going to classes. He continues to tell me that every single time I had a free period (which was at least once a day) he was meant to be in class!! And had not been going to spend time with me. He told me I had ruined his future and it was all my fault! 

Well, Miss Secret Blog was rather sassy back then, and this was the last straw, so I told him he was a fucking idiot. He knew I had a boyfriend that I loved dearly and that I had made that perfectly clear from the beginning. I never asked him to miss classes. That was his choice to lie and miss class, he had done this to himself and there was no one to blame but himself. I had never once flirted with him or done anything to give him the impression that I fancied him. Done, peace out, fuck off. 

After that, I only saw him once. He turned up at college begging me to talk to him and had to be escorted off the premises. Even thinking about that now makes me cringe he was screaming and shouting and made a right old scene. 

Something I miss being a teenager, until I think back to times like this!!!!

Have you ever had creepy teenage boys stalk you?! I would love to hear in the comments below!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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A cat orgy was happening in my KITCHEN 


I am not a big animal person, I love children and old people but animals are not my thing. However, as my other half was desperate for baby number 3 and I in no way shape or form was prepared to give him baby number 3, I did the next best thing and got him a pet. “Aw you got him a dog!” I hear you say, no no no a dog was far too much work, instead I got him a cat. 

She was beautiful, fairly vicious (not gonna lie) but we love her to bits. For a few years we couldn’t touch her much but we loved her all the same. I won’t go into details about her appearance as she is quite unique and I don’t want anyone I know figuring out who I am. (Insert Super hero joke here) 

As she got older it got more and more annoying letting her out through doors and windows so the time had come to buy her a cat flap. I was so excited for her to have her own door, but she was a stubborn little thing and she refused to use it for a month but she got there in the end.

However, with the cat flap came a shit tonne of problems. 

Where we live every one has at least one cat. Our street has more cat that people, each one with their own personality, friends and enemies. Its like a cat eastenders. It’s quite cute really.

It all started when one of our next door neighbours cats started sneaking in. At first I just thought our cat was eating twice the amount of food, as she was asking to be fed constantly. Until I found the other cat hiding behind our living room chair. This turned into an hourly battle of chasing the little bastard out the house. 

Our cat became even more unfriendly and started guarding the cat flap like there was no tomorrow. We could hear the cat trying to get in the cat flap and our cat holding it shut with her little paws (it looked quite funny to be honest) but it was becoming a big issue as the bastard cat trying to invade was constant. We had to stop opening windows all the way and keep the back doors closed in the summer. 

Over time I started finding other cats hiding in the house, it was getting fucking stupid and our poor cat was a stressed out nervous mess. Two things happened that were the final straw. 

1. My partner woke up to the sound of multiple cats howling and growling, he then realised they were INSIDE THE BLOODY HOUSE. He ran down stairs and found carnage in the kitchen, at least 5 cats doing God knows what. He actually described it as a cat orgy!!! 

2. The next day he walking into the kitchen to find a random cat pissing up his work bag!!!! After two hot washes it still stank, I secretly found this hilarious, he however did not. 

There was only one thing for it, we had to buy the most expensive cat flap in the world. It’s was £90 and scanned our cats microchip so only she could be let in the house. 

Since getting this fancy gold plated cat flap, our little cat is like a different… I was going to say person then! She’s chilled and happy and isn’t constantly pestering for food. There’s still a bit of feistiness in her but I think that’s just who she is, like most cats she likes everything to be on her terms. 

As it’s been getting hotter we’ve started opening windows again, and guess who I caught sneaking in my bedroom window today? The bastard cat!!! So yet again I’m on high alert. At least the other cats haven’t tried it yet, but I’ll be ready and waiting with my water pistol to chase them off. 

I’d love to hear in the comments below if you have ever had a cat orgy in your kitchen?! Or if you’ve had issues with other cats in your house?

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Stupid things I did as a teenager-part three-(I ripped her piercing out)


When I was 18 I had one goal. I wanted to run up a wall, flip over and land on my feet. I was about half the size I am now so it wasn’t as ridiculous as me trying now. One of my best friend did cheerleading when she was young so felt she was qualified to make my goal happen. Cheerleading is quite rare in the U.K. So the chance of me knowing someone who could teach me was handy. She was the friend I went to Paris with (Ridiculously embarrassing panic attack on the Eiffel Tower ) and most of my crazy stories involve her.

We decided the best time to try this stunt was when we were drunk walking home from the pub. It became our weekend tradition. I would run towards the wall, grab hold of her hand as I tried to run up the wall, but everytime would kind of get stuck horizontally while she held me up. I wish I could of seen what we looked like it must of been hilarious. 

My lovely friend happened to have a skin piercing in between her index finger and her thumb (you know what’s coming…) Friday night came rolling round and yet again we were trying to flip me. I didn’t know at the time but this was the last Friday I would ever attempt this trick again. As I grabbed her hand to run up the wall my bare feet slipped on the brick and as I fell I ripped out her piercing. 

From the amount of blood it looked like I’d ripped off her finger, we all started screaming, We couldn’t figure what what had happened until I noticed the little hoop that was once in her hand, was on the floor.  

Where we were so drunk everyone cracked up laughing, my friend… not so much!! However years on she loves re-telling this story, so technically I did her a favour by creating such a unique memory. 

I’d love to hear your stupid stories in the comments below!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Ridiculously embarrassing panic attack on the Eiffel Tower… (Paris trip part one)


Many years ago I went to Paris for a long weekend with my best friend, I was 20 at the time. My daughter was less than a year old I think she was around 9 months old, I decided a needed a few nights away (I was extremely post natal) so Paris was our chosen destination. Although I cried the whole time, I was an emotional mess, I missed my baby and the trip was an utter disaster, looking back it is hilarious. At the time, not so much. But it has left me with many stories of what we got up to. So here is the first one:

We took the underground to the Eiffel Tower, it’s something you have to do in Paris, it would be rude not to. By this point of the trip we had very little money, we clearly under estimated how expensive Paris would be. Again I was only 20 so I can forgive myself for that. We quickly realised we couldn’t afford the lift to the top, instead we bought tickets to walk up the stairs of one leg. Rather disappointing but it still looked really high up so we thought it was better than nothing!! 

(I would also like to say now I’m not keen on heights, my friend isn’t great either but she could suck up her hysteria better than I could, she’s always been a lot more logical than me. I was undiagnosed and unmedicated at the time, I had a bad habit in moments of distress to panic very loudly and being unable to control the crazy, to put it bluntly, I do realise I would of looked like a total tool during this episode.)

We get to the steps and I realised they are cross cross metal, meaning you can see through them. I look at my friend and say “fuck that”and try walking away, she dragged me back lecturing me how its a life experience and that we’re doing it, she’ll stay right behind me, we’ll stick together and that I am not to look down. 

I keep my eyes firmly ahead of me, after what felt like forever were still climbing stairs, I start thinking about how high up from the ground we are…my breathing gets heavier….and the only think keeping me from hitting the ground is the cross cross wire…. the air is getting harder to breath… and how if I fall backwards I’d fall off the world as I’m so high up…. I then look down… and scream my fucking head off. Everyone around me starts panicking as they think there’s something seriously wrong due to me making such a scene. People around us are asking if I’m ok and what’s happening.

(God it’s so embarrassing to look back on!!!!)

I start imploding inside, the worlds a blur, I feel sick and I’m so scared I physically can’t move. I get really dizzy and am in full blown panic mode I remember the conversation I had after I sit down in protest on a step, clinging on for dear life with my eyes shut and the tears streaming down my face:

Me: I’m not fucking moving I don’t care if I’m in everyone’s way I’m too scared to move!!!! Oh my god I’m going to fall off!

My friend: please don’t freak out or I’ll freak out, just get up and we’ll go back down!!! 

Me: We’re so high up we’re going to fall off and die!!!! IM NOT MOVING!!! 

My friend: you do realise we’re only four flights up?

I open my eyes, I’m only four flights up?! In my head I think dear lord I’m such a drama queen, so I look down again…nope that shit is still making me scream uncontrollably …. I feel that high up I could be on the bloody moon. 

In the end my friend managed to coax me back down by us both going the whole way down on our bums!!!! Getting in evvvvvryones way, if looks could kill we would most certainly be dead. 

I’m such a dramatic bitch, as we hit ground level I laid flat out on the floor shaking and sobbing with relief. I then drank a bottle of wine in half an hour. 

Let this be a lesson to you all, if your post natal, slightly psychotic, unaware that you have bipolar and don’t like heights… maybe don’t climb the Eiffel Tower?

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Story time-who did she bring into my house part two… (scary)

Here is part two of my recent soooky events, this won’t make much sense unless you’ve read part one which is Here so go read that first then come back! 

I’ll say now, I’m sure there will be a few of you think these things are a bit daft, but after feeling that in my home (read part one!!!) I was a lot more aware of these strange things occurring and I can’t explain them. It might not of been paranormal but to me it felt it. It didn’t feel scary, it felt playful, but still made me uneasy. I didn’t talk about this for a while to anyone as I didn’t want it getting any worse. It did eventually die down so I feel ok to talk about it now. Here are 3 things that happened and I have no idea how. 

Number one: The day after ‘the experience’ I was sitting at the kitchen table in the same place I was when it happened. From where I was sitting I could see the down stairs bathroom, to turn the light on we have a cord that hangs down from the ceiling, there is a porcelain toggle at the end which pings against the tiles making a noice after it’s been pulled. (I hope that makes sense) . All of a sudden the chord started to ping against the tiles, I look up from my phone the second I heard it, the cord was violently swinging back and forth. There wasn’t a single window open in the house and I was home alone.

Number two:  My other half has a really high up shelf in our bedroom, filled with his childhood toys and Lego, he is meticulous on where everything lives and is positioned. The only way I can reach it is if I stand on the bed, neither of the kids can reach it as you have to lean over quite far. We were about to go to bed when my other half asked me if I moved his Lego skeleton man, I laughed and said “no why?” He pointed up to the shelf and I kid you not the skeleton man had been moved to the roof of a Lego car, really close to the edge, like it could fall off any second. He joked it might of been a ghost, I just smiled but though “omg was it?! How else did it get there?! 

Number three: I was getting the kids out of the car, my keys were in my pocket and I was getting bags out of the back of the car. I started thinking “I wonder if anything weird is going to happen today or if my ghosty has gone”. As I thought that all the electric windows in my car went down! This was so strange as the windows won’t open or close unless the key is in the ignition with the car turned on. To close them again I had to put the key back in and start the car. The kids thought it was weird too but I was hardly going to tell them I think a spirit is following me around. 

I’d love to hear what you think about all this and if you have any ideas as to what could of happened?! I might have a part three so push that follow button to get notifications when I post! 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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