I made my dad cry this morning – happy Father’s Day!


My dad is a business man. He has his own incredibly successful business, he has contracts with HUGE companies and is a money genius. He is ruthless and does what needs to be done. He is my biggest inspiration. He has a lot of stress through this and can be as moody as hell, I really really sorry for my mum sometimes having to live with him! 

But under all of this, he is the BIGGEST softy and I really am daddy’s little princess. No matter how moody, ratty and difficult he can be I absolutely adore him. He’s a sweetheart he just hides it very well lol. 

For this Father’s Day I wanted to do something a bit different. I love the website Not on the high street it has thousands of unique personalised gifts for every occasion. I ordered a beautiful little box which said “10 reasons my dad is amazing.” It has 10 cards inside that you either write on yourself or pay the extra to have them typed up. As I’m skint I opted to write them myself. 

On these cards I wrote: 

  1. You are the funniest man alive, you put most comedians to shame with your wit.
  2. You make the BEST roast dinners.
  3. You make me laugh how much you love your dog.
  4. What you have done with your business is inspirational. 
  5. You (and mum) have given me the best childhood any one could ask for.
  6. You are the ultimate grandpa to my kiddies and they adore you.
  7. I appreciate every car loan, phone bill loan and holiday you have ever paid for me. 
  8. I appreciate all the hours you have spent walking around art galleries with me. 
  9. You give the best hugs.
  10. I could not of asked for a better dad, no matter how grumpy you are and how senile you become I will always love you. 

Now, this kind of gift with my dad can go two ways. He will either take the piss and think it’s weird as I’m a grown up, or he will take the piss but secretly love it.

When I arrived this morning he was hungover painting a garden table. After a quick chat I handed him his present, warning him it was a bit soppy and that he might laugh at me. As he started reading he looked bemused but as he read on he looked further down so I couldn’t see his face. 

When he looked up I wasn’t  expecting what I saw, his eyes were filled with tears and he couldn’t speak. He gave me a hug and went back to his painting not looking at anyone. I had to seriously hold back the tears myself so we did the British thing and carried on like nothing had happened. 

I was so happy that my words touched him to the point he was moved him to tears. It was a really special 10 seconds that I wouldn’t change for the world. 

I love my dad ❤️

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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200 followers!!! Wow!!


I had already decided I wouldn’t be writing about every milestone I hit with this blog, as I’m not doing it for that, but I am beyond ecstatic that 200 of you enjoyed what I’m writing enough to follow me! 

I have put my heart and soul into this blog, not setting myself specific guide lines of what to write about, just letting my creativity take me where it wants to go. 

I can’t tell you how much good it’s doing me. 

Talking about funny stories, painful issues from the past, my bipolar, family, weightloss, sex, the paranormal…, the list goes on. 

I’m amazed at the comments and interactions I’ve been having with you, hearing your stories, ideas and points of view had been amazing. There are so many beautiful people in the world and I feel like I’m getting to speak to so many of them! 

I feel like we’re creating a little community where any topic of conversation is allowed. Nothing is too much! I’m really hoping by sharing my stories and experiences it’ll help people who could be going through the same thing. I’ve been through a lot and what better way to turn it into a positive?! 

Thank you so much for all your love and support it means the world.

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Stupid things I did as a teenager-part three-(I ripped her piercing out)


When I was 18 I had one goal. I wanted to run up a wall, flip over and land on my feet. I was about half the size I am now so it wasn’t as ridiculous as me trying now. One of my best friend did cheerleading when she was young so felt she was qualified to make my goal happen. Cheerleading is quite rare in the U.K. So the chance of me knowing someone who could teach me was handy. She was the friend I went to Paris with (Ridiculously embarrassing panic attack on the Eiffel Tower ) and most of my crazy stories involve her.

We decided the best time to try this stunt was when we were drunk walking home from the pub. It became our weekend tradition. I would run towards the wall, grab hold of her hand as I tried to run up the wall, but everytime would kind of get stuck horizontally while she held me up. I wish I could of seen what we looked like it must of been hilarious. 

My lovely friend happened to have a skin piercing in between her index finger and her thumb (you know what’s coming…) Friday night came rolling round and yet again we were trying to flip me. I didn’t know at the time but this was the last Friday I would ever attempt this trick again. As I grabbed her hand to run up the wall my bare feet slipped on the brick and as I fell I ripped out her piercing. 

From the amount of blood it looked like I’d ripped off her finger, we all started screaming, We couldn’t figure what what had happened until I noticed the little hoop that was once in her hand, was on the floor.  

Where we were so drunk everyone cracked up laughing, my friend… not so much!! However years on she loves re-telling this story, so technically I did her a favour by creating such a unique memory. 

I’d love to hear your stupid stories in the comments below!

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Small victories with my four year old (special story)


My youngest is 4 years old, he will be 5 in July. He has a speech delay which has recently massively improved through daily speech therapy at school since being full time. When he was younger he had the therapy weekly but it didn’t make much of a difference. It’s only been the past few months strangers are starting to understand him, which is amazing and is making him a happy little boy. 

For a long time he got very upset and frustrated as I was the only one that could understand him. This broke my heart. He had the mind of a 4 Year Old but the speech of a 2 Year Old. It was extremely hard for him and I couldn’t be prouder of my lovely boy and how his speech is getting better everyday. What has also been amazing, is that in the beginning of the school year he was in the “slower pace” learning groups (they thought due to his speech he would struggle), after two terms he had worked his way up to the top groups in all areas of learning. I cried at home after finding this out as I was so worried his speech would hold him back. He’s so bright and I’m ecstatic he is able to express that now. 

However, we have had huge hurdles in other areas at home. Mainly in hygiene. Washing himself, washing his hair, water in general, teeth brushing, hair cutting, toe nail clipping, ear cleaning….all of these things he found petrifying. Some he still does, this has been just awful if I’m honest. With our eldest daughter none of these things have ever been an issue so it’s been even more tricky figuring out what to do to help him over come these fears. 

It has been my goal the past year to solve these issues, as all these things you have to do. I can’t not wash his bits or let him grow claws on his little feet. It’s taken lots of tiny baby steps and lot of tears, talking and bribing but we’re getting there. 

Last night I had to tackle the biggest issue…hair washing. Hair cutting is still a big issue but is tonnes better than what he was. He is due a hair cut, I tend to keep it as short as possible so it’s easier to give his head a quick scrub. But where we’ve been busy and his hair grows so fast it has gotten longish again. Where it’s been so hot and sweaty this week he hair was really starting to smell and I thought the time is now I can’t put it off any more.

I’ll be the first to say hair washing is the one thing I’ve not been consistent with, it makes me feel like a really bad parent but whenever I wash his hair no matter how i do it he is hysterical and I have to physically hold him in the bath. Which is so traumatising. I can’t put into words how horrible it is, it’s far more than just a few tears. I was doing it regularly hoping he would get used to it but it was making him truly scared of bath times. So I gave up for a while. But last night we turned a corner. 

I actually managed to wash his hair without tears!!!! He had a cry before we did it, I gave him lots of options how how to do it so he felt In control and for the first time it bloody worked. At first he refused, I then suggested why not just wash the back of his hair, which agreed to. On the condition I used a flannel not a cup of water to rinse and that I leant over the bath and cuddled his head so he could cuddle my arm. So this is what we did, and while constantly telling him what a big boy he was and how proud of him I was I gradually moved the flannel up until his whole head of hair was washed. I could of cried I was so relieved. I also kept telling him how lovely his hair smelt and his dad made a big fuss of him too. 

This might sound like a really small thing, but for my little man this was HUGE!! It’s all about the little victories and I’m so proud of him. 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old 

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Weigh in update (second week back slimming world)


What a brilliant morning, I was up half an hour before the kids so I actually had time to wake up and weigh myself in peace! I’m doing slimming world from home as I don’t have time to go to a meeting. After four weeks off and gaining 8 pounds, last week I lost 7.5 pounds which I was tickled pink over. This week I lost 3 1/4 pounds!!!!! 

Happy is an understatement, this means if I can lose 2.5 pounds I’ll have lost 3 stone from my heaviest weight. If I loose another 4.5 pounds on top of the 2.5 pounds I’ll be looking at a number on the scale I’ve not seen in a good few years. 

Lots of motivational numbers I’m hoping will keep me going this week!!!! How has your weigh in gone this week?! I’d love to hear in the comments below! 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Make time for yourself 

This week, so far, has been good. I’m back to normal and have a spring in my step! My medication has levelled me out and I’m sticking to my healthy eating plan. Today I went out for breakfast with a friend and I did 30 lengths at swimming after.

While we were having breakfast we were talking about now we need to make more time for ourselves, everything is always about kids, work, our partners, cooking dinners, doing the food shopping, school runs…. you get the drift. Wheres our time?

Recently I took up swimming, now I’ve given up caring what people think I’ll happily get my cossie on swim till my hearts content. Its making me feel so good! I need to try and go more than once a week but I’ve been struggling to fit it in, well I think I should say I need to make more effort fitting it in. After a good swim I feel cleansed and revitalised, like I’ve achieved. And taking that hour and a half for myself has chilled me out today. 

We weren’t intending to have breakfast, we were just planning on getting our food shops done as quick as we could. But spur of the moment we thought why not?! Taking that half an hour to munch and chat was lovely, it didn’t cost the earth, it didn’t take all day, it was nice. 

So I challenge you this week to do one thing just for your self that YOU want to do!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Back on slimming world after 4 weeks off…first week weigh in

I’m going to say now I’m slightly drunk, I’m not normally drunk when I write but really wanted to quickly boshing this out (is that a British term?!) before a dirty evening playing doctors with the other half. 

After several weeks off track, eating everything I could get my hands on I had gained 8 pounds booo hisss!! This week I’ve had my head back in the game and have been as good as gold. I’m ecstatically happy to say I have lost 7.5 pounds! So I am nearly back where I was, I’ve worked so hard and it’s paid off. It just shows how well slimming world works (when you stick to it!) and that this is the right choice for me long term. 

Apart from the vodka I’ve had tonight (which I syned) it’s really encouraged me to keep going. I know it’s going to take a long time as I have so much to loose but I’m heading in the right direction. I’m turning 30 in July and I just want to feel more like myself. That’s my goal. Not to be stick thin. Not to be starving myself. To just feel like me…..and to feel really confidant in my party dress…plus size or not!!! 

Have a fantastic evening! 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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