Why I love my boyfriends wrinkles

I know quite a few people worry their spouse will become less attracted to them as they get older. They’ll worry they weren’t as thin as they were, that they’re getting wrinkles, loosing their hair or their boobs are nearly touching their knees. 

To me my other half is as gorgeous the day I met him. His hair is receding, he has crows feet, he’s in the sun way too much and his back is hairier. But all I see is the young man I met 11 years ago. 

With every new line on his weathered face, to ever individual hair he losses, the way I see it is… we’ve been together that long that we are aging. We are literally growing older together, and I love watching him get older. I love watching his face change and how he’s maturing. 

I love his wrinkles ❤️ 

What’s more romantic than that?

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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Annoying things about being fat when it’s hot


After the fantastic feedback of my Annoying things about being fat post I thought I would continue the series but go a little deeper, so today we shall be talking about being fat in the heat. As this is a whole new ball game of problems. I find writing about these things really inspire me to keep going with my weigh loss, as well as entertain you lovely people.

Getting my arms out

It has only been a year or so that I have liberated my arms and set them free. Since my weight gain they have been firmly covered up. No matter how hot it got or how sweaty and uncomfortable I was I would NEVER EVER get my arms out. My big jiggly wings were not for the publics entertainment and I couldn’t stand looking at them. Even when I was smaller I felt this way I think it’s an issue a LOT of women can relate to. But now I’ve set them free it has made my life tonnes easier in the heat. I just say to myself they won’t look like this forever, I’m trying my hardest to work on my body and since starting swimming I have noticed a difference! 

Getting my legs out

Unless I am in the privacy of my own home my legs do not see sunlight. I live in dresses and leggings and if I’m that hot I think I’m going to pass out I might roll them up over my ankles. I love wearing little shorts at home feeling all cute and what not but I just could not get them out in public it would be far too humiliating! I’ve recently be brave enough to expose the leg beneath my knee (that makes me sound like an 80 year old woman lol) but I’ll be honest I felt naked all day and was worried my dress would blow up exposing my thunder thighs!! I’m still making myself do it though as I need to get over this fear as really the only person who cares is me.

Chaffing central

Ahhhh this is a biggie, the thigh chaffing situation is very unpleasant. If I know I’m going to be walking more than 10 steps I need something to protect my thighs from starting a fire. If I’m wearing a maxi dress which I would die from overheating if I had leggings on too (which I did wear for several years under maxi dresses!) I found myself some long black shorts, imagine leggings but cut off above the knee. They are the least sexy thing I own the look ridiculous, my other half always takes the piss, but they do the job beautifully and no one sees them but me!

A pool of sweat is following me around

Have you ever heard the phrase when it rains it pours?! I don’t think the saying was intended to mean sweat but were using it in that context today! Holy shit I’m getting sweaty, embarrassingly sweaty, and not just in the usual places. It’s seeping out of every pore in my body drenching me head to toe is seconds. I’ll walk up to school thinking wow I’m not as sweaty as I thought I would be,until I stop, then comes the rain sweat. My water bill is going to be huge this month  the amount of showers I’ve been having!

The dreaded sun cream

Sun cream is soooo important and after having a cancerous mole with cancerous cells around it (I’ll write about that soon too) I have to be really careful. But I fucking hate it!!’ No matter what cream I buy I feel greasy and slimy, it also mixes in with the sweat which is just disgusting. Not to mention it’s expensive!!! Between me and the kids we’re going through more suncream than…..well a lot of suncream. I have also just realised this point has nothing to do with being fat!! I went off on a tangent there but it’s still something I hate about the heat. 

I’d love to hear in the comments below what you hate about the heat, no matter what your size!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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**LOW SYN ICECREAM ALERT**


I made a discovery today!!! This is going to be bigger than finding out the world is round!!! I just had to share it with you all!!!

In Tesco I noticed they were selling Oreo peanut butter ice cream cookie sandwiches, my heart sank as I love Oreos, ice cream and peanut butter. To tease myself I picked up the packet, I then noticed the calories per ICECREAM… I worked it out in my head… 

6 SYNS!!!!!! 

Only 6 syns!!!!!!!

That was it, they went straight in my trolley as I went skipping to the tills. 

When I got home I opened the packet straight away, they’re not the biggest ice creams in the world but they taste gorgeous! Two big biscuity Oreos with cream peanut butter ICECREAM. 

Worth every single syn! It felt like a huge treat and what’s even better is that no one in my house likes peanut butter so they’re mine all mine!!! 

Mwahaha!!!

What low syn ice creams do you enjoy?! I’d love to hear in the comments below!

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Austin Jones uses YouTube platform to take advantage of under age girls 


I don’t tend to write about stories going on in the news but this sickened me to the core. Austin Jones is a 24 year old Canadian you tube star, known for singing covers of popular songs he has half a million followers. 

It has recently come to light that he has been using his online presence to convince young girls to send him explicit photos and videos. Disgusting. 

He was manipulating these poor girls with phrases like “I thought you were my biggest fan” and telling the girls they needed to prove themselves to him by sending what ever he asked. Even asking them to talk about their age during the videos. 

Even typing this is making me super uncomfortable. 

It finally came to light what had been going on after he asked a young girl to send a video of her twirking in front of the camera, when she said she didn’t know how he actually SEND HER A VIDEO of himself twirking showing her how to do it. At the end of the video he smiles and says “your turn.” This was sick to watch knowing his intent behind it. 

She then went on to expose messages between them as she wasn’t comfortable with what he was asking her to do. The clever clever girl had taken screen shots. I think she’s amazing bringing this to light and not letting scum like him think he’s in control.

From what I have read he will be getting a maximum of 15 years in prison. Personally I think he deserves more. 

He took advantage of his social media fame, instead of using his exposure for good…. he used it to groom young girls.

More girls that were targeting are coming forward exposing him and sharing screen shots. I won’t be posting any on here as they make my stomach turn and are pretty graphic but there are hundreds of YouTube videos you can watch that include more evidence. 

One look at this guy you know he’s not going to do well in prison, and I couldn’t be happier about that.

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I made my dad cry this morning – happy Father’s Day!


My dad is a business man. He has his own incredibly successful business, he has contracts with HUGE companies and is a money genius. He is ruthless and does what needs to be done. He is my biggest inspiration. He has a lot of stress through this and can be as moody as hell, I really really sorry for my mum sometimes having to live with him! 

But under all of this, he is the BIGGEST softy and I really am daddy’s little princess. No matter how moody, ratty and difficult he can be I absolutely adore him. He’s a sweetheart he just hides it very well lol. 

For this Father’s Day I wanted to do something a bit different. I love the website Not on the high street it has thousands of unique personalised gifts for every occasion. I ordered a beautiful little box which said “10 reasons my dad is amazing.” It has 10 cards inside that you either write on yourself or pay the extra to have them typed up. As I’m skint I opted to write them myself. 

On these cards I wrote: 

  1. You are the funniest man alive, you put most comedians to shame with your wit.
  2. You make the BEST roast dinners.
  3. You make me laugh how much you love your dog.
  4. What you have done with your business is inspirational. 
  5. You (and mum) have given me the best childhood any one could ask for.
  6. You are the ultimate grandpa to my kiddies and they adore you.
  7. I appreciate every car loan, phone bill loan and holiday you have ever paid for me. 
  8. I appreciate all the hours you have spent walking around art galleries with me. 
  9. You give the best hugs.
  10. I could not of asked for a better dad, no matter how grumpy you are and how senile you become I will always love you. 

Now, this kind of gift with my dad can go two ways. He will either take the piss and think it’s weird as I’m a grown up, or he will take the piss but secretly love it.

When I arrived this morning he was hungover painting a garden table. After a quick chat I handed him his present, warning him it was a bit soppy and that he might laugh at me. As he started reading he looked bemused but as he read on he looked further down so I couldn’t see his face. 

When he looked up I wasn’t  expecting what I saw, his eyes were filled with tears and he couldn’t speak. He gave me a hug and went back to his painting not looking at anyone. I had to seriously hold back the tears myself so we did the British thing and carried on like nothing had happened. 

I was so happy that my words touched him to the point he was moved him to tears. It was a really special 10 seconds that I wouldn’t change for the world. 

I love my dad ❤️

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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My biggest secret as a child

When I was a child I had a secret. A secret that was always at the back of my mind and was a huge part of my childhood. It’s still a bit embarrassing but not as crippling as it used to be. Well here goes…

I used to wet the bed. A lot. For as long as I could remember I would wet the bed at least once a night.

Even at 9 I was still wetting the bed. I refused to go to sleepovers and if people slept at mine it would 100% be different beds, with my mum sneaking in to change my sheets while I sat and silently cried. It was the most humiliating experience I can ever remember. 

It was my biggest secret and none of my friends knew. As I got older the bed wetting was less frequent but it still happened. Through the doctors we tried everything even those bed alarms to wake you up.

I was such a heavy sleeper nothing woke me. More than likely due to the fact I found it very hard to fall asleep (Being scared at nighttime)

I remember at 13 (yes even then it still happened) being given tablets I could take if I was at a sleepover which would stop me wetting the bed. Although I always ended up asking to go home at 1 in the morning, too scared to sleep incase I wet the bed. The thought of my secret being exposed made me feel anxious all the time. I felt like such a baby, even though it was something I really couldn’t control. 

As I got older, very slowly, the bed wetting stopped. Until I started going out drinking. 

A whole new level of humiliation.

If I had that one drink too many, I’d wet the bed. At friends houses, BOYS HOUSES… it was awful. Sometimes it wouldn’t happen for a while and I would get a false sense of security, thinking I had finally at 19 grown out of it. 

Even after settling down and having our daughter, it would happen from time to time if a had a nightout. Which was very rare but still happened. My other half bless him was always so sweet about it, he’d tease me a bit but in a playful way, he really didn’t mind if he woke up in wee he would just jump in the shower and not make a big deal out of it. I’m sure it was disgusting waking up in my wee but he never showed it. 

Thankfully it has been years since I last wet the bed. I am so happy it is finally over. I remember how having this huge secret weighing on me all the time was soul destroying. I had told myself that no one would understand and if I did tell anyone it would be around my entire school within the day. So I kept it to myself.

Even as a grown up for the longest time I still couldn’t talk about it as it brought back so many horrible memories and feelings. 

But I’m so proud today that I’m writing about it. Every time I write about things that haunt me from the past it feels like I’m setting them free in a balloon across the ocean into the sunset. 

Are there any balloons you need to send off? Leave them in the comments below.

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Resisting eating crap, it was worth it and my BIGGEST tip on saying NO (Still on track!)

Well well well a few days later and I’m still ruling  healthy eating!!! I’ve not even been that tempted to stray, I’m feeling so much better physically and mentally I don’t want to fuck it up now. 

After having a few months binging I didn’t want to know the damage I had done, so instead of weighing and beating myself up. 

I simply started again. 

Before I went off track this time I was 9 pounds off a 3 stone weightloss. So in my mind, as long as I was at that weight I had counteracted the damage I had done by eating nothing but crap. 

Today I weighed myself to see how I was getting on, I was tickled pink to see I am 3.5 pounds off a 3 stone weight loss!!!! 

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

Seeing the numbers fall is more addictive than drugs, it makes me keep going and makes everytime I say no to something naughty worth while. 

This morning I was at a cafe with my kiddies. In the queue to get them a drink and a snack my brain went through this process:

Those giant fruit and nut flap jacks look good shall I get one?…. no no far too many syns…. then again that could be my treat for the day?… no no you’ll regret it later when you want a vodka and a Curley whirly…those ham and cheese paninis look good… no no your having a brown pitta bread with dinner don’t have more bread…. hmmmm but they do look really good…. what about crisps you could get quavers…£1 a bag? Yeah I don’t want them that much…. what about the hummus crisps?… holy shit 9 syns a bag maybe not….. fuck it I’ll just get a drink.

Then I sat there, sipping my oasis zero, proud and feeling like I just lost another 0.5 of a pound by saying NO.

I wish I could remember where I learnt my biggest and best tip for saying no, as when I feel myself needing a boost to keep me motivated I’ll do this for a few days and it massively helps remind me of how far I’ve come. It’s quite simple;

Get yourself a notebook and pen, throughout the day every single time to resist something naughty, write it down. 

For example, if when you buy your morning coffee your offered a muffin half price with the coffee and you say NO, write it down. 

If at work someone offered you a slice of cake or a biscuit with your tea and you say NO, write it down. 

If at lunch time you walk past McDonald and mentally argue with yourself about having it and end up saying NO, write it down. 

If at dinner time you toy with the idea of a takeaway but resist, wrote it down.

Then at the end of the day add up the syns you said no to, you will be amazed at what that number on the bottom of the page says. 

It’ll show you how far you have actually come at saying no and that every time you do, it’s weight that otherwise would be going on. 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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