thesecretblogofa30yearold

Things I struggle with, keeping this blog anonymous !!

I started this blog for me. I badly needed some sort of outlet, and i have to say since starting this blog, expressing myself, and connecting with all of you, I really feel like home. I decided I wanted this blog to be 100% anonymous, if I were to really pour my heart out i needed to know that no one I know would see it. I write about things I don’t even say out loud, topics and feelings I have not been able to get out. It was so important to me that it was my Secret Blog.

A few people in my life know about this blog, but they haven’t even asked what it’s called as they understand it’s very personal to me. They don’t quite understand what the ‘point’ of blogs are, but that’s a story for another time.

I have been finding it harder and harder to keep this blog anonymous, it’s lots of little things but they can drive me crazy.

1. You don’t know my name

I do find this quite hard, for instance, if someone has reached out and contacted me though my ‘contact me’ page and we’re chatting back and forth, I can’t sign off with my name!! As I’ve said before I have made friends on WordPress through my comment section and sometimes I really have to hold back not sharing my name. But if you do want to call me something, you can call me Secret!

2. You don’t know what I look like

Sometimes I think I would like to post about cute new dresses I buy or to post about feeling ‘body positive’ that day, things like that would be fun to do. But that would really give me away, even if I cut my head off people would still know it’s me!

3. Not using other people’s names

When I am writing about my children I am constantly having to delete their names! I can’t help it, I instantly type them, then realise I need to say ‘my son’ or ‘my daughter.’ Same goes for Mr Secret Blog, it would be so much easier to just use their names!

4. Not sharing photos of my children

I want to show off my beautiful babies! It’s as simple as that!

5. Not being too specific

If I want to go into details about the world around me I always have to stop and think, if the person I was talking about read my post would they know it was about them? And if the answer is yes, I have to bin the post as it’s not worth the come back.

6. Not talking about my business

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know that I run a business from home, this is something I would love to talk more about as I feel I would have some really good tips and tricks about the field I’m in but I would really lose a lot of privacy by opening that can of worms.

I would love to hear if you can relate to any of these issues! Please comment below, let’s get chatting ❤️

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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88 comments

  1. I completely understand!! Though I do have pictures of my husband and myself on my blog, I also worry about someone I know coming across it and judging me for things I have written. I will say, though, that if you ever want to email me pictures of your dresses, your kids, your life, I live in America and there is no way that we would ever run into each other!! I love your blog, it makes me smile and sometimes I come to WordPress just to see if you have written anything. Even if it doesnt relate to me, I will read it because I enjoy your spirit. You seem like a wonderfully happy person. I truly enjoy reading your blogs!! Much love!!!

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  2. You’ve definitely set yourself a challenge of the first order. I felt anonymous at first, indeed, I was. No one knew me, there were no pics of me anywhere, I was “Covert Novelist”. Interestingly people thought I was hiding. In truth, I wasn’t. Covert Novelist relates to the type of books I write, mystery novels – I figured that was a great name. As for pictures, I was only leary in so much as I was concerned about anyone I didn’t know gaining access to me for nefarious reasons. I applaud your wishing to be free, tell your story, without reprisals. It’s freeing to be able to express yourself in any situation. I do understand your pride in your family and wishing to share. Whatever you decide, keep up the great work. Your here, your involved, your sharing, and your doing it on your terms which isn’t a bad thing!

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  3. Oh, I can definitely relate! I struggle with it too. I wan’t to be totally honest but there is 1% of me that feels like someone I know will read this and they will find out I’m a bum. 😉 I do wish I knew your name and what you did but that’s the secret part of an anonymous blog. When I started my blog I put out too many specific details and then went back and deleted those posts. I have wondered about putting up a photo for a day so my readers would know what I looked like but then take it down after a day or so. But then….the internet is forever, isn’t it?

    …Thinking I’m a little hypo….sorry so wordy!

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    • Ahhh see now I want to message you sharing everything!!! It’s LOVELY people like u that make it hard!! 😂😜😘😘 a photo for a day is a brilliant idea!!!!!!! Hmm but u r right the internet is forever! I wanna c what u look like too! We’re too curious lol it’s cos we luv each other! 😃 creepy but cute lol xxxx

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  4. I did the same thing. My name here is an anagram. I wanted to see what me response would be among people who don’t know me, and I don’t know them based solely on my writing. Turns out it was great. I’ve let the cat out of the bag on my side, and I guess I kind of done the same thing here. I love writing. I love that others enjoy it. That they can connect with it… 🙂 You do you. 🙂

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  5. As far as I am concerned what is written on your blog stays on your blog. Mine was set up to support someone who never failed to support me. And maybe be a little creative in my outlet to.

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  6. I don’t think that’s a bad thing! I liked when nobody knew about my blog it was my own section of the internet where it was just me I don’t blame you for keeping it to yourself! I do share more about myself now but still try to keep my real name, location and family info to a minimum! And sharing my blog with my family and friends was such a scary thing but on the whole it has been well received I have had a few nasty/bitchy comments from people I know but that was expected. I kinda came to the conclusion that I enjoy blogging if you don’t like it don’t read it! I really enjoy reading this post! Xx

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  7. I guess if we are honest the we would all admit we have issues, problems or whatever but few of us have the courage to say anything or write about it. I would love to be able to write about all the issues in my life but my blog is the opposite of yours. You can see and read all about me but not how I feel or how I struggle every day to keep myself together. You’re no doubt doing a lot better than me. Take care.

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  12. I totally get where you’re coming from. I go back and forth all the time between remaining anonymous and “coming out” and always feel a little guilty that I’m an advocate about mental health, but I’m not fully “out there” with my personal social media or have my linkedin page linked up, or have my real name for googling, just because of how the corporate world may misuse the information if I decide to go back to my previous career after my recovery. I am curious though, and I guess a lot of people, too, who are struggling with mental illness and maintaining a steady income, how to go about starting one’s own business- because at the end of the day, if you run your own company, nobody gets to have a say when you go on break because you’re having an episode, or if you need to take some time off for yourself. I would be interested to read about that, on a general level, without revealing more than you are comfortable with of course. You have an awesome blog!

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    • Aw thank you so much! Yes I understand for work keeping things quiet, no one wants to employ a ‘crazy’ person 😂🙈 don’t feel guilty, you have nothing to prove Hunni. Everyone needs an outlet, you don’t need to be screaming ur name to still be inspirational xxxx how self employment works for me, that’s a great idea for a post, I’ll add it to my list 😊

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  13. I can relate to using this as a means to release what we otherwise feel we cannot. I’m a widow with three kids. Very few real friends. And a million stories from life. I have no issue with staying anonymous really. Though I have one friend who follows me knowingly, just means I have to keep her out of my posts. Maybe you could start another one with your actual alter ego? It would be tough but a bit of fun too. Great post! I really enjoy being able to relate here at “home”.

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    • I’m so sorry to hear that, you must have so much emotion to get out, I can’t imagine how hard that’s must be for you. I’m always moaning but in my heart I do love that this blog is anonymous, there’s only a few things I have to hold back. The big stuff I needed to get out, I have done on here. I truly love blogging xxxx

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  14. I understand. My blog has my name on it and I’ve even said what city I live in, but I don’t know anyone that reads it! I don’t put my son’s name out there or any friends or family. You are doing a great job!

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  15. I started my blog with every intention of remaining anonymous. I have a completely public blog which I also use for things I wouldn’t mind others knowing about. Like major events in life, kids, career, etc. I use my private, or anonymous blog for saying the things we just can’t say openly without being chastised or turned down for jobs (since many employers like to google us now!). My friends and I are finding that mine is quite helpful for ranting about the situations with men or even those days we want to sell our kids on eBay. I know, I know, that’s not legal. But I heard once that we can sell em on Etsy because that’s where you sell shit you make, right? Anyway. Perhaps you could start a blog completely separate from this one that will meet the needs you just can’t meet here.

    Ooops, almost signed my name…
    ~Me

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  16. Honey, I absolutely understand about remaining hidden from the world. In this day and age it takes acts of congress to keep our private life private. I think if you have gone this long writing from the shadows, keep going girl! I think of it lik this. WE know there is a real person on the other side of your posts. WE underatand that blogging is a release for us. Call it the playground for our alter egos to be the real us. Does that make any sense? Lol Keep doin you girl! 👍🏽😘

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  18. That’s a toughie and only you can answer the questions you ask. You have to feel comfortable with what you’re doing and writing. If privacy is important to you than you have to find a way to maintain it and your question is answered. But I get the feeling, and I may be wrong here, that you’d like to expose a little more of who you are but you’re not quite sure how to do it or how it will be accepted by others.
    Everyone blogs for different reasons but I think one of those reasons, for some, is to have the freedom to express themselves in different ways, on different topics, without strings attached.
    You have your own reasons. If it’s to speak about your life it thoughts annonymously then you’re doing what you want to do. If it’s sharing your life on a more personal level, then that’s a step only you can take.
    It took me a year to include my photo on a blog and though I write about my thoughts more openly now, it took me some time to get there because I never hid the fact that I had a blog from anyone. I don’t write much about my personal life but that’s just me. But I try not to censor my thoughts. My feelings are my feelings and if you don’t agree with them then you have the right to not read or comment as you see fit, as long as it’s respectable. People who know me and read my blog understand, those that don’t…well, it’s their choice to stay or go..:)
    Hopefully you’ll find your balance soon. Freedom is a wonderful thing. Above all…keep writing😊
    Good luck.

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    • Thank you for commenting! I will definitely keep this blog anonymous, I can’t stand the thought of people I know reading it and I know from past experience I would just be thinking about that when I would write, so I wouldn’t be true Lou expressing my deep dark thoughts. There’s just a few things that are a bit tricky lol!! I might loosen up a bit as time goes on but right now I’m overly cautious lol xxx

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  19. My blog isn’t by any means completely anonymous, but I decided a while back to adopt a policy of not directly naming people who hadn’t consented to it (I’ve since picked back through and redacted most such names, but I sometimes find ones I’ve missed) unless I’m writing reviews of things that are already public.

    Anyway, while I’ve resorted to using initials because I’m horribly lazy, I think assigning inoffensive nicknames for people who appear regularly can be a useful strategy, and it’s one I see used often and effectively. I still refer to one of my favorite teachers as “Killer B,” because her class is often brutally hard (in a good way), but they can be as simple as NextDoor, TrainLady, Catman, or Prof.

    I think nicknames can feel a little less impersonal than always describing people as “my teacher” the or “my daughter,” be can help keep sentences a little less wordy. Plus, it can be fun coming up with them!

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    • It is fun making names up!!! Sometimes it’s hard to keep track though if I don’t read a blog regularly enough to have learnt all the names 😂😂 I think my daughter would be unicorn and my son would be spider man. I actually really like that lol thanx for the tip xxx

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  20. PS: unless you’re in a really unusual field, you’re probably safe discussing some of the generalities of your work. Even the sometimes-distressingly-small world of dance allows for that 😉

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    • It’s more the fear that is someone found my blog and thought I wonder if this is her…. then they see I’ve written about what I do….makes it more obvious it’s me. I think I’m a tad overly paranoid but I really don’t want this coming out that it’s me lol xxx

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  21. All of that. I was doing so well until my girl spilled evidence that she had found it and been reading. Then, of course, she was offended that I talk about her.
    Sometimes I feel like communication has been replaced by Facebook vetting and Google dirt digging in our modern world. Like people would rather see each other as a perfect facade (fully aware that it is) and avoid having to feel human with each other

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  22. Privacy is the reason I avoid social media. But as you said, blogging is almost as much self help as it is a social site, and if there’s anything we all need help with it’s family!
    As it stands, I have to accept that she is in my audience and my communication to myself/anonymous bloggers is now also a communication to her. In a strange twist, sometimes my posts are more effective than our face to face talks.

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  23. Why not have two blogs….have your secret blog where you can express yourself freely without anyone knowing who you are and then have the blog where you can post pics and talk about your family. Ahhh best of both worlds!! Good luck with it. 🙂

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  24. Hi💜i jst seen ur blog ,i like it 🌷like evryone says is ur blog when ur ready ur ready🤗🤗almost evryone want to keep it a secret,😔but for😲some reason. We end up showing the true colorz💜💛💚💙im spanish from PR i leave in US ,i speak a lil english still learning the language 😔😔i blog things the i like ,i dnt mind if no one likes or follow my blog ,google+ or fb etc,not tryin to be mean 😶😶 i like my pages my blog ,🌷⚘,i learn if u dnt want ur family or friends to read or find out ,dnt follow or dnt tell them, block them ,😢😢😢tha wat i do on my fb i dnt follow my friend or family member all block☺Google +same thing ,here i dnt worried cuz the dnt like blogging 😉😊😉, jst wanted to share⚘🌷😘it waz nice chatting, 💜u sound like a great person u will make the right choice 🌹🌺hav a beautiful Saturday 🍒🍒🍒

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  27. I totally relate secret. I am a member of AA and one of our traditions is to remain anonymous at the level of press radio and films. I use a pseudonym and I don’t mention the name of the town I live in and of course I don’t show my face. I also like the freedom of the anonymity so i don’t have to worry about what others think but I often refrain from using names and when I have they are just first names and people no longer in my life.

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    • Heya Danny! Thank you so much for sharing that your in the AA. That’s amazing you’ve taken control of your life ❤️ this post was a big old moan but I love that I can post what ever I want with no worry, it’s so liberating xxxx

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  28. It must be very difficult. For me personally, I have not tried to keep my blog a secret. Though I have not put my name in it, but there is my photo 🙂 I share many of my blogs in my Facebook page. Anyway all the best 🙂

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  29. OMG you have done the right thing staying annonymious! I have my blog public and a lot of my friends and family read it and I fell out with a family member because she misinterepted what I wrote. I ended up deleting everything. It was awful!

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  30. Thanks for stopping by and liking my post. I too have been in the shadows for many years with my blog but I am slowly stepping into the light. I recently added a Facebook page for my blog and announced on my personal Facebook that I do have a blog and other social medium for it. It was a huge step. People either are interested or not, or they will like it or not. Now I feel empowered to keep moving into the light because I want to start expanding. I have not added personal pictures of myself as yet but I think that will be coming soon. Baby steps 🙂

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  32. Hi Secret – I relate to this. I’m in the middle of watching the Netflix series Dark Net (it was on Showtime before that) so my internet paranoia is high right now. I like the personalised pictures on some blogs but will hold on to my anonymity for a little while yet, I think. It has a certain childish appeal but I like the pseudonyms too. It looks like you have really struck a nerve with your comments section. Yours sincerely, Half

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  33. Well Secret,

    I know exactly how you feel, I have intentionally done the same thing with my blog. I started mine as away to express my feelings on the things going on in my life and tell my/our story. But without all of the judgement that talking to people face to face, and then I didn’t want to put people in the middle of my/our business. I think of this as my therapy were I can tell my/our story with anonymity. No pictures and no names, but it is hard to write about your life and remember to change or omit names and still tell the story. I end up writing my posts in word and then reading them over and over again to make sure I “fix” before I post it. Just keep doing what your doing and be blessed!

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      • I like mine as well, but i may at somepoint come clean. Just not anytime soon. the only thing about by being anonymous is that it takes longer for people to make a personal connection with you. but on the flip if someone that knows runs across your blog they have no clue its you. So Pros & Cons either way. If you do identify yourself then people will know everything your feeling, etc….

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