‘Night out’ insecurities 

I started this blog for many reasons, one big reason was to help get my feelings out and this post is something that has been hiding at the back of my mind all week. This weekend I’ve got a night away with my friends, and we’re going to get druuuunk. I’m so excited I can’t wait, it’s been planned for a long time. But there are a few worries I have and I need to let them out!

Apart from the kids going to my mums for the night it’s the first time I’m the one going away. So even though their at home with their dad (my other half) I’m nervous about the goodbye. I know they’ll cry and I’ll be worrying about them all afternoon. I know that sounds dramatic but this blog is my honest truth. I also know they will stop crying pretty quick after I go but it’ll still be on my mind.

My biggest Secret worry, is, what if anxiety hits while I’m out? What if I’m the biggest one there and every one stares at me? What if someone points and laughs? What if someone is mean to me and I cry or kick off? What if, no matter how much I drink and how dolled up I get, I still feel like shit? What if the chairs are tiny? What if I feel pretty and beautiful and amazing…and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and those positive feelings melt away?  What if it feels like the walls are closing in and I can’t breath? I hate sounding this insecure, I can be incredibly confident and I’m at a place in my life that 9/10 times I don’t care what others think. Yes I may be big but I like who I am inside, I think I have a pretty face, and I totally rock the 50,s style…but there’s a little voice inside me saying the opposite. When I was younger that voice was all I could hear, but now it’s a tiny whisper. But it still creeps up on me. 

I’m sure I’m worrying over nothing, like I always do, but I really needed to get this out. 


The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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  1. Very inspiring blog knowing the worries you have are so similar to mine. I think the easiest thing to do is try and block thoughts out, focus on the now. Focus on where you are and tell yourself you’re having a good time. Dance to distract you while you’re out. If it becomes too much of a nuisance before you’re even out worrying about it then break it down. If you worried about people saying stuff about you why are you feeling like that? Consider the fact that they are probably too engrossed in their own night to even notice individual people in the room. Hope this helped slightly! Have a wonderful time! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • This is an awesome comment thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply! Your so right about breaking it down, and for a lot of my worries I have no logical proof to back up my worrying. When I get stuck in my head I always think worse case scenario, and get carried away that I’ll look like a big joke trying to dress up and everyone will laugh! It’s almost like that dream we’ve all had when we’re at school and suddenly realise we’re naked 😂 no ones ever been nasty to me out and when I am dress up I know I’ll feel good, it’s just the worry b4 hand 🙈 one thing that will help my nerves is two of my friends have asked me to do their makeup so I’ll b super distracted up until we leave the hotel lol xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Aww, Hunny!!! I bet you will have the time of your life. I know how that feels though, there are times I am feeling wonderful and then it all comes crashing down. Just know that, you are the one who dictates how you feel. If someone says something nasty or stupid, brush it off, because you are fabulous!! If you start the spiral, step away, tell yourself that this is your time to shine and you are going to have a great time!! I hope you have fun!! Be gorgeous, be courageous, and be you, because thats the best thing that you can be!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I so can relate I have the same worries and I will admit my mind can think up a lot of negative then positive . I love your blog and thanks for liking my post I look forward to enjoying more of your posts and please try to think better of yourself to me you sound like a beautiful person.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You might want to have an “out” just in case you aren’t coping well. Figure out an excuse to leave and keep it in your back pocket. You most likely won’t need it, but you should take comfort in knowing you can use it in case of emergency. Hope you have a lovely time out.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You are beautiful, sexy and fabulous. Let it shine. You have a wicked sense of humour IMHO, and a husband who loves you. Strut your stuff, wiggle your tush and have a great time, and drown that spiteful little demon on your shoulder in alcohol, she’ll soon shut up, believe me.. 😉 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m sorry you are feeling such anxiety over this, but when that happens I know you are about to have the best night out of your life. It never fails the more something tries to make me nervous, I know there is a blessing waiting for me. As for that little voice in your head, the mean, negative one, girl cant you just let the other, more positive voices drown the negative one out LOL That’s what I do 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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