The night I learnt I was not cut out to be a ‘player’

I recently wrote The biggest mistakes I used to make with boys when I was a teenager (be prepared to cringe) this reminded me of one experience I had when I had just turned 19. As I’m feeling brave I thought I would share it with you. Similar to my last post it doesn’t do anything for my image, in fact it might make you think I’m a total bitch, but please bear in mind I learnt my lesson from that awful night and it was 12 years ago! 

At one point in my life I was a….fuck girl. I played boys like they were my toys and chopped and changed weekly. I so badly wanted to find love but I went about it in the WORST way possible. Inevitably it bit me in the arse. When I was younger fuck girls/boys wasn’t a phase that had even been created yet, but my friends used to call me a player and literally warn boys away from me!!!! I was just a lost mentally ill little girl under the facade and if you’ve been following my blog for a while I think you already know that. I had been hurt so many times I think I was reflecting that out into the world and subconsciously doing the same thing.

At this particular time in my life I was ‘seeing/dating’ not one, not two but THREE boys. Each one had something different to offer and I couldn’t decide which one I liked the most. First world white girl problems I know. One Saturday night, my friends and I were going to a local rock club for a night out. I had mentioned I was going to boy one, I asked if he wanted to meet me there, he said he couldn’t as he was busy. Boy two asked what I was doing that night, I told him and asked if he was coming, he said it wasn’t ‘his thing’ but that he would see me on the Sunday. Boy three messaged me asking if I was going to the rock club as him and his friends were going, I said yes and we were going to meet later that night. 


But my night did not go to plan, me and my friends got dolled up arrived later than planned. Boy three was there, I was already a bit tipsy, he looked gorgeous and at that moment I thought ‘yes he might be in the winner.’ We drank, we smoked, we danced, it was going better than I could of dreamed. 

Until I went to the toilet and checked my phone, boy one had messaged me, he had decided to come after all and was in the queue outside. Shit. I then got a message from boy two saying he had convinced his friends to try the rock club and they were inside at the bar!!! Double shit. I showed my best friend the messages while I was panicking, I felt insanely guilty and like a total bitch. I never in a million years thought these random three boys would cross paths and I had no idea what to do. 

So we came up with a cunning plan, if we could spread them out through the club I could get away with it. (Evil I know) I also decided there and then I was done with playing like this but I really didn’t want to hurt any of their feelings or have a huge confrontation so I had to get the night out of the way.

Boy one was in the dance room, he was saving the table so I knew he wasn’t going to move, boy three was at the main bar in a huge queue so he was occupied for a while. We decided my friend, let call her Sarah, would keep a lookout to make sure boys one and two stayed in their zones. I was going to meet boy two as he came in and take him to the second bar, sit him at a table and ask him to stay there while I ‘found Sarah.’ This went without a hitch.

As the night went on we used crazy diversion tactic, at one point Sarah kept one of the boys distracted by sexy dancing as I sneaked out to go see another boy. I’m pretty sure she dropped and smashed a glass too to keep one of their attention!!! Before I knew it all 3 boys were in the dance hall and I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It was ridiculous, I was exhausted and was not cut out for this player malarkey. The hardest boy to keep out the way was boy number one as he didn’t arrive with friends and didn’t know anyone else there. I also realised he was a bit of a weirdo and was relieved when he left. He was crossed off the potential boyfriend list. 

This left boy two and three. The more drunk I got the harder it was to keep them apart, and right at the end of the night we were all up on the dance floor jumping around like lunatics, me trying to avoid each boys advances and gropings. Sarah had stopped caring by this point and couldn’t stop laughing. Each boy thought the other boy was my ‘friend’ it was a night of lies and idiocies that I will never forget. It is one of Sarah’s favourite stories to tell as it was so outrageous! Needless to say it didn’t work out with either boy, I set them both free as if one of them would of been right for me, I wouldn’t of been mucking about with the other ones!!! 

I would love to hear in the comments below if you ever had a night like this?!?!

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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  1. Omg, this sounds so much like me when I was 18 and 19 tears old. I treated boys like tissues and every time I felt worse about myself instead of better, hotter, or what ever I was seeking. I was so bad that when I started dating my now husband my closest friend warned him about what I do to men. (We are still best friends) Once I just up ditched my boyfriend (not current husband, some other guy) for a group of dudes to go get some beers and hang out. Some how we ended up at the coast (3 hours from home). I totally made out with one of the guys. Some how I convinced ditched boyfriend that nothing happened even though I came crawling back the next day sun burned and hung over.

    Liked by 1 person

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