There is no worse sound than my emissions workshop warning light pinging up on my dashboard when I turn the engine on. It means more hassle, more money, more problems and more anxiety. Car issues make me so nervous its unreal. Mainly the money, or lack of money should I say, is it going to be a little thing like a part that needs cleaning or a sensor!? Or is it going to be something huge like the head gasket or the fuel pump!? Either was its out of my budget. I have no savings, no backup, no credit card.
I don’t have the money to hand my car over to a garage and say “here you go” as I throw handfuls of 50 pound notes at the mechanic while screaming “do you what you please just get it fixed!” Instead its my other half going through all the options of what it can be, bit by bit step by step which is super stressful and causes arguments. As well as money and time. It weighs so heavy on me I can’t stand it.
Earlier on this week that familiar sickening sound pinged as I turned my engine on, my heart sank so far down it fell our my arse. More car issues. The warranty that came with the car isn’t worth the paper it was printed on, the garage I got the car from is closed for the next month and a half so he cant help and the potential car issues I have are not covered anyway.
When I got the car we had an EGR valve issue, which was also not covered by the warranty, but I managed o get the guy who sold it to me to agree to replace it if it failed. I then got another garage to confirm in writing it had an intermittent fault therefore it needed changing. After days of back and forth he finally changed the valve. Thank fuck.
But yet again, an EGR valve fault code has pinged up, as well as two throttle body codes. This could be a plethora of things but from what I read I think our first step is to check if the value is shut open or closed as well as cleaning out both parts. Bloody diesel car.
I’m dreading telling my other half when he gets in that its not covered by the warranty, its just more shit for him to do and stress over and I know its going to be an argument. At this second in time I don’t have a penny to my name. At least its my birthday on Wednesday so I’ll be getting some money but for ONCE I wanted to spend it on something fun for me. Not the kids, the car, bills… I’ve messed up this months money so badly I feel like I’m drowning, I’m owing money left right and centre to different places I’m not suppose to be taking money from. I cant tell anyone its something I have to fix myself, whenever I think I’m getting ahead something happens and throws me off again. This post wasn’t meant to go off in this direction, I guess I just needed to vent about it all.
I just cant stand the stress not having money brings, I love being self employed and wouldn’t change it for the world but I can’t force people to use my services. I’m trying to get more business but every week its up and down. By the time it picks up again and I’m constantly working I’m so behind on bills etc. It doesn’t make a difference making a chunk of money as the second it’s mine, it’s gone again, replacing what I’ve already spent. Why does everything have to revolve around money? It’s the biggest stress in my life.
Sorry this took a down hill turn, this blog is where I let everything out so today that exactly what I did.
The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old
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