I hate the word anxiety, but it really is the only way to describe how I’m feeling. I have no idea why but the past few days my anxiety has been out of control and I’m struggling sleeping, even after my meds which usually knock me out. Before I was medicated for bipolar I constantly felt anxious, nervous, guilty and on edge. The medication has hugely helped but it’s still lurking under the surface.
There’s certain things in life that tip my nerves over the edge and today has been full of them.
I had a tonne of work to fit in and knew it’s was going to be a rushy day, this makes me nervous as I have to pick the kids up after school and I worry I won’t have gotten through all my clients in time.
I also had to squish a food shop in which doesn’t sound too stressful but today it felt like the world was on my shoulders.
My friend was meant to be cutting my little boys hair but he is PETRIFIED of hair cuts and sometimes he’s so hysterical the hair cut doesn’t happen. That also happened today which means another trip to the hairdressers which I’m already fucking dreading.
Last minute trip to the mother in laws while they debabted politics rather loudly for over two hours.
I’ve felt cold all day.
Political stuff is everywhere due to the election. My other half is obsessed and gets so heated about it all, I love that he’s passionate but it’s draining at times if I’m honest. It’s also a scary time as no one knows what is to come for the future of our country.
As much as I love my other half he has a right temper, it doesn’t come out very often but he’s in that inbetween mood where everything I say and do is wrong and he’s really snappy. This massively puts me on edge as I can’t stand the shouting and rowing I just don’t have the energy right now so I’m desperately struggling to keep the peace. I don’t know what’s wrong with him at the moment he’s so wound up. More than likely due to more political bullshit.
I’ve been shaking with nerves on and off all day it’s horrible.
That’s the end of my depressing boring post, sorry it’s not been much fun today. Hopefully I’ll have something witty and comical tomorrow.
How’s you day been? I’d love to hear in the comments below!
The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old
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