This post is exactly why I wanted an annomus blog. I would die if anyone I knew now heard about these stories but I feel compelled to share them with the internet. None of these stories paint me in a good light so please bare in mind we were all a little crazy as teenagers and I wouldn’t behave like this as a grown woman. If this is your first time on my blog, welcome! Bit of a weird post to start on but hey ho most of my posts are rather odd.
I recently wrote a post about a strange boy who I went to college with (He got kicked out of college to spend time with me?! Wtf?! (Stalker)) after a little chat in my comments section it reminded me that I had done some stalking in my day too. As well as acting like an utter twat. So as the flawed human being that I am, I decided it was it was only fair to share my embarrassing boy obsessions from my teenage years.
Story number one – I threw up
The first story that came to mind was a boy we shall call Jon. When we were 13 a big group of us would meet up at the cinema every Friday. Over the weeks everyone started pairing up, I had my eyes set on Jon. I thought he was beautiful and I had decided I was going to marry him and have his babies and live happily ever after. He hadn’t spoken to me much but that was fine, I was patient. Until one day, he asked to sit next to me, my whole body started shaking I thought I was going to die I was so excited and nervous. Halfway through the film He held my hand and where I was so over come with hormones and shock I threw up all over him!!! I ran out of the cinema crying and I have never been so mortified in all my life!!!
Story number two – peeping tom
This next story also make my friend and I look crazy, I think I was about 12/13 and my best friend lived opposite a beautiful teenage boy. We both had a huge crush on him so decided we would both marry him and take turns having his babies. He had a huge bedroom window on the side of his house and if we stood on a certain place on the path we could see in. (So fucking creepy.) Every morning I’d walk to her house and we’d walk to school together. But first we would (I’m crying with embarrassment typing this) stare up at his bedroom window watching him get ready for school. I realise this probably is some for of sexual harassment, but I want to say we never saw him get undressed or anything like that we just watched him walk around his room getting ready. One morning he noticed us watching, and slowly backed out of his room. The next day we went back to our watching spot and he had blinds up!!! That poor boy must of been so freaked out and I couldn’t blame him!!!
Story number three – he shall be mine, a tale of determination
Before I settled down with the love of my life, if there was a boy I liked I had to have him. I would get my target in sight and make that shit happen! I was really confident with boys, I knew what I wanted and would go to great lengths to get what I wanted.
I would of been 15/16 when I was walking him rather tipsy from a party one night, I could see a boy heading towards me on his bike. As he got closer I realised he was looking down so I shouted “watch out” and he swerved falling off his bike. When he looked up at me and our eyes met, I could hear angels singing and that crazy undiagnosed bipolar voice in my head said “that’s your next boyfriend!! Congratulations!” He quickly apologised and told me his name was … let’s call him Jimmy Smith. I told him my name, we had a quick chat and off he went.
Back in those days there wasn’t social media to find people on, you had to do it the good old fashioned way, by asking around and stalking!! I knew roughly where he lived as he told me he was nearly home, so I asked around my friends who lived up that way to see if anyone knew him. I was in luck, I found out he worked in a super market in the town at the weekends. So clearly my next creepy step was to try and “surprise” him at work.
I remember the first weekend I tried to stalk him I didn’t see him. But the weekend after that I “bumped” into him, I remember saying “oh my god hi what are you doing here? What a small world!” Looking back it was very clear it wasn’t an accident as I was smiling like a bloody clown and had asked half the town who he was so he must of heard. We had a chat and when he was about to walk off he casually asked for my number. GOAAAAAAL!!!! After that we were together for 6 months before I broke up with him for ironically being clingy.
Have you done crazy things to boys/girls when you were a teen?! I’d love to hear your antics in the comments below! Seriously, tell me your so I’ll feel less embarrassed.
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