I have had huge issues with jealousy in the past, before I was medicated it was to the point of obsession. I’m talking about jealousy in relationships. I also had big trust issues so I feel looking back they went hand in hand. So much has changed but I do get the crazy pangs from time to time now, thankful I have found logic and can talk myself out of the psycho behaviour.
When I was younger if I was out drinking and saw specific girls I found threatening, instead of acting it cool and secure like I would now, I’d end up drinking way too much and attacking these poor soles. Making myself look like an insecure thug.
A lot of things helped me get over these issues, which I will be writing about in more depth soon. But I read this one article that made so much sense to me it really helped me make sense of my insanity. If I remember rightly it was either a doctor or psychiatrists theory on what jealousy actually was, it went something like this..
People do not have a certain amount of love to give, it’s not like love is a pie and once you’ve handed out the pieces there is no more. Love is endless. When you feel jealousy in a relationship its because you feel that if your partner cares for someone else (family member, an old friend of the opposite sex, work colleague whoever it is) it’s taking their love away from you. They can care for other people but still fully love you as well. It doesn’t take a single ounce of their love away from you.
I found this fascinating and so true! If I think of it the other way round, I love my partner, but I also love my friends and family etc just because I’m out having a great time with my best friend doesn’t mean I don’t love him just as much as I did when I left the house.
Boom mind blown!!!
I really hope if your having jealousy issues this might make you think about it differently like I did.
I’d love to hear in the comments below your strategies for dealing with jealousy or any stories you would like to share.
The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old
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