Before being diagnosed and medicated my pupils are huge, if I was excited or upset the blue around my eyes would pretty much disappear. It looked kinda creepy. The amount of clubs and bars I couldn’t get into because the bouncers thought I was on drugs was unreal. I’d be bouncing off the walls manic as hell, explaining “no I’m just drunk and excited!” They never believed me, and honestly I can’t blame them.
I take my medication just before I go to sleep about 10, I’ve noticed (and so have many other people) if I have a late night and haven’t taken my medication my pupils go huge again. A lot of people in my life don’t know about my bipolar, and I feel sometimes my eyes give me away.
If I’m working really late, which happens often, clients sometimes notice. It’s really weird because I can feel them widening and I think “oh shit here we go again, my crazy eyes are back!!” I worry they think I’m on drugs like the bouncers used to, I can’t control it or hide it as I can’t walk around with my eyes shut!
I’d love to hear in the comments below is this something you experience too?
The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old
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