My Bipolar eyes give me away


Before being diagnosed and medicated my pupils are huge, if I was excited or upset the blue around my eyes would pretty much disappear. It looked kinda creepy. The amount of clubs and bars I couldn’t get into because the bouncers thought I was on drugs was unreal. I’d be bouncing off the walls manic as hell, explaining “no I’m just drunk and excited!” They never believed me, and honestly I can’t blame them. 

 I take my medication just before I go to sleep about 10, I’ve noticed (and so have many other people) if I have a late night and haven’t taken my medication my pupils go huge again. A lot of people in my life don’t know about my bipolar, and I feel sometimes my eyes give me away.

If I’m working really late, which happens often, clients sometimes notice. It’s really weird because I can feel them widening and I think “oh shit here we go again, my crazy eyes are back!!” I worry they think I’m on drugs like the bouncers used to, I can’t control it or hide it as I can’t walk around with my eyes shut!

I’d love to hear in the comments below is this something you experience too? 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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12 comments

    • Heya, Thank you for commenting and taking the time to read my post, I was hoping to get other people’s perspective on this! That’s interesting it doesn’t happen to you, I’ll be curious to see if anyone else can relate or has an answer as to why it happens. It’s really annoying tbh lol xxx

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  1. This was a topic that garnered quite a bit of attention a couple of months back in a parent support group I am in. My sister is a psych nurse and informed everyone that this is pretty normal for psych patients in general – it’s not specific to any one diagnosis. Far as I know, my eyes don’t do this but my youngest son’s eyes do even while on meds. It has to do with stimulus levels in the brain if I remember correctly. So if the levels are high, or the person is over stimulated rather, then the pupils become larger to see better.

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  2. I’m bipolar as well. I’d never noticed my pupils being enlarged when I was manic until my last manic episode. I lost 72 hours of my life that time. I have no recollection of where I went, what I did, or who I was with and nobody I know had seen me either. I decided to look at my phone activity and social media to see if I could find a clue through that. No such luck. I hadn’t called, texted, or posted to social media, but I did find one interesting thing in my phone. A picture…of me. My pupils were ginormous and I looked totally insane. I couldn’t tell where I was when I took the picture, but I looked terrifying.

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    • Omg that’s scary!! I remember being younger and loosing days too it’s petrifying, u poor thing. That must of been so weird finding that pic. It is freaky seeing your pupils like that, drives me crazy it happens almost daily to me wish I could stop it xxxx

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      • I don’t think mine do it daily because if they looked like they did in that pic, people would be scared of me. My eyes are dark though so maybe they do it to a degree but it’s just not as noticeable.

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  3. I’ve never noticed my pupils changing, but a few of my meds make me feel as if there are electrical charges running through by body if I don’t take them on time. A couple of weeks ago I accidentally left out my Pristiq from my daily meds and went without it for four days before I figured out why I was so sick. It’s the weirdest sensation…like little shocks spreading throughout my body. Awful!

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