Small victories with my four year old (special story)


My youngest is 4 years old, he will be 5 in July. He has a speech delay which has recently massively improved through daily speech therapy at school since being full time. When he was younger he had the therapy weekly but it didn’t make much of a difference. It’s only been the past few months strangers are starting to understand him, which is amazing and is making him a happy little boy. 

For a long time he got very upset and frustrated as I was the only one that could understand him. This broke my heart. He had the mind of a 4 Year Old but the speech of a 2 Year Old. It was extremely hard for him and I couldn’t be prouder of my lovely boy and how his speech is getting better everyday. What has also been amazing, is that in the beginning of the school year he was in the “slower pace” learning groups (they thought due to his speech he would struggle), after two terms he had worked his way up to the top groups in all areas of learning. I cried at home after finding this out as I was so worried his speech would hold him back. He’s so bright and I’m ecstatic he is able to express that now. 

However, we have had huge hurdles in other areas at home. Mainly in hygiene. Washing himself, washing his hair, water in general, teeth brushing, hair cutting, toe nail clipping, ear cleaning….all of these things he found petrifying. Some he still does, this has been just awful if I’m honest. With our eldest daughter none of these things have ever been an issue so it’s been even more tricky figuring out what to do to help him over come these fears. 

It has been my goal the past year to solve these issues, as all these things you have to do. I can’t not wash his bits or let him grow claws on his little feet. It’s taken lots of tiny baby steps and lot of tears, talking and bribing but we’re getting there. 

Last night I had to tackle the biggest issue…hair washing. Hair cutting is still a big issue but is tonnes better than what he was. He is due a hair cut, I tend to keep it as short as possible so it’s easier to give his head a quick scrub. But where we’ve been busy and his hair grows so fast it has gotten longish again. Where it’s been so hot and sweaty this week he hair was really starting to smell and I thought the time is now I can’t put it off any more.

I’ll be the first to say hair washing is the one thing I’ve not been consistent with, it makes me feel like a really bad parent but whenever I wash his hair no matter how i do it he is hysterical and I have to physically hold him in the bath. Which is so traumatising. I can’t put into words how horrible it is, it’s far more than just a few tears. I was doing it regularly hoping he would get used to it but it was making him truly scared of bath times. So I gave up for a while. But last night we turned a corner. 

I actually managed to wash his hair without tears!!!! He had a cry before we did it, I gave him lots of options how how to do it so he felt In control and for the first time it bloody worked. At first he refused, I then suggested why not just wash the back of his hair, which agreed to. On the condition I used a flannel not a cup of water to rinse and that I leant over the bath and cuddled his head so he could cuddle my arm. So this is what we did, and while constantly telling him what a big boy he was and how proud of him I was I gradually moved the flannel up until his whole head of hair was washed. I could of cried I was so relieved. I also kept telling him how lovely his hair smelt and his dad made a big fuss of him too. 

This might sound like a really small thing, but for my little man this was HUGE!! It’s all about the little victories and I’m so proud of him. 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old 

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12 comments

  1. Hi there. Dr NC Basson here. Your post almost moved me to tears. I dont have a wife or children yet. But to hear your heart for your son. The heart of a mother. Moved me to tears lol. Well done to your son and your husband and to you. That little man needs every bit of encouragement his parents can give him.The battles you guys overcome now. Will bless him for the rest of his life. And make him stand tall and conquer many battles as an adult later. Keep it up. Tears of sorrow soon become joy. And boy oh boy how greatttt it feels when the tears of joy start to come. Im off to go rest a bit. Thanks for sharing that family story. Feels like i was there watching.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This was such a lovely comment thank u so much!! I’m planning on writing more about family life it’s been so well received I’ve had so many lovely comments I’m pleased it’s not boring for people!!! Love my kids to death I really would do anything for them xxxx

      Like

      • Its awesome. Send me a facebook invite through my blog contact page. Would be nice to add u as a friend. I havnt figured out how to do it through wordpress yet. After God. Family is thee most important thing for me. One day i hope to have my own.

        Liked by 1 person

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