Finally a good day!!!! 

I have been so and down lately I’ve not know wether I’m coming or going! I upped my meds last week but for the first time ever it wasn’t working, yesterday was a dark day but thank fuck I woke up better today. The world has colour again and I feel like I can breath. Think I’m still going to go doctors to discuss other medication options as I feel good now but by tonight I might be secretly crying in the toilet again. I hope not but there’s a 50/50 chance based on the rest of the week. I’m not sure if my medication is wearing off or if I’m just on over load it’s really confusing.

When I was diagnosed I was offered a course to help understand bipolar more and to teach you how to cope. I couldn’t go as I had just had our second baby and there was no one to look after him, I also thought, if I’m honest, that it would be a waste of time. But now I’m thinking that it would of been a good idea, there is no such thing as too much information and help so I’m going to ask if it’s not too late to go.

I had Post Traumatic Stress a few years ago and when I felt ready to get help I was sent on a similar course. Which I also thought was a load of shit but to get the therapy I had to do this course. It was one of themost beneficial   things I have ever done, after I understood why I thought and felt the way I did, and how my brain worked with PTSD, I could let my past go. It was crazy, over those 6 weeks I learnt so much about myself it was fantastic. It changed my life. I didn’t even need therapy after. So I’m thinking the bipolar version might b worth my while. 

Little added happiness bonus today…This is for sure a sign I’m getting older but my new dyson Hoover arrived today and I could not be more pleased!!! I was so chuffed I was jumping. I ordered it half price in the Easter sale, now I just have to wait for the bloody thing to charge! I’ve wanted this Hoover for years and it felt good to splurg…even though I have no money….and it was through a catalogue… whoops lol 

The Secret Blog of a 30 Year Old

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