Well today has been rather depressing, today was the first day in my LIFE that I truly felt old. I have had odd glimmers of this feeling but nothing like what happened today. I realise my blog title implies that I am 30 but I am actually 29 and 8 months old, but am trying to embrace the fact I’m very nearly …..30. Every birthday that has come round has always felt more novel than sad. For example most of my friends had a quarter life crisis at 25, I just found it funny as 25 sounded so ‘grown up’. Most of my friends are older than me and so is my other half so age has never bothered me as I’ve always been the baby. But as the big 3 0 is getting closer it’s making me feel uneasy and I have to say I really don’t like it! With that in mind…
I recently lost a few stone (there will be a shit tonne of posts about that topic!) so I decided to order myself a few bits from newlook which is a clothes shop in the U.K. Mainly aimed at a younger audience but defiantly still aimed at the 20something. I’m still in the midst of plus sized clothing which is fine but sadly every newlook in the area has gotten rid of their plus size section. Which has really pissed me off actually as I like to try on clothes before I buy them but that’s a story for another day.
I placed my order and was told it would be available to collect after 2pm the next day. I decided to go at 3pm on a Saturday and I knew parking would be a nightmare. It took me 25 MINUTES TO PARK!! Stressed is an understatement. As I walked through the store I noticed a lot of very young girls, as I scanned the whole store I noticed I was the oldest person in there. This is no joke or exaggeration, I really was!!! Not the best of feeling but I shock it off, reasoning to myself that it’s a Saturday the kids are all off school, every teen girl in the area must be in here and I continued to join the huge queue to collect my order.
As I reached the till my heart sank when I noticed a 12 year old girl was serving me, she must of been 12, there’s noway I looked that young at 16. (FYI that’s a big sign your getting old) I politely told her I was here to collect an order, and the words she uttered next destroyed every inch of my soul.
“Aw are they for your daughter?”
Bitch what?!?!? My daughter?!?! Are you saying I’m too old to shop here and that there’s no possible way these clothes are for me as I’m far too old and frumpy and fat to purchase even a pair of leggings and a raincoat in your shop?!?! (I do have a daughter as it happens but she is nowhere near old enough to order and pay for her own clothes!!!)
Well clearly I didn’t say that as the shock was just too much for my fragile dementia infested old brain. I simply said “nope they’re for me!” To which she looked rather surprised and continued to tell me my order wasn’t here yet, I then calmly but firmly told her how it took me 25 minutes to park (I knew this would mean nothing to her as clearly 12 year olds don’t drive, nore would my boring mundane life be of any interest to her) I also informed her I was told it would be here after 2 o’clock. She wasn’t sure what to do, so asked if I would like to see the manager. A big sign of relief washed over me, I was thinking “finally I can talk to a helpful grown up” the relief turned into horror as I saw the manager was actually not a 12 year old, but an 11 year old! Needless to say this got me nowhere and I’m supposedly waiting on an email to say it’s arrived.
I then took it upon myself to try on every pair of boots or heels they had in my size to prove my youth to myself with some awesome shoes, after maybe half an hour of this pointless activity I decide, no this is stupid I don’t need shoes, but I need a water bottle. So I spend another 10 minutes deciding which design an old lady like me should buy, (if your counting I’ve been out of the house for 1.5 hours at this point) in the end instead of the grown up floral pattern i was prepared to begrudgingly buy, I went for the bottle that said “embrace your inner unicorn” because you know what…. fuck you newlook!!!! I might seem old to you but I’m still a glittered up party unicorn inside and you can’t take that away from me!!!
I’m praying to god I’m not alone in feeling like this! Please comment below, purely to make me feel better!
the secret blog of a 30 year old
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When I went to pick up my package, after I had been informed it had arrived in store, I decided to go after dropping my kiddies off at school. My faith in humanity was restored!! I was greeted with adults at the till, real adults! I also noticed I was nowhere near the older person there, in fact it was quite the opposite. So for future reference and your self esteem, if your going to newlook and are over 25, do yourself a favour and go while the teens are at school, you’ll thank me after!